


Civilian

by elena_stidham



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Social Media, Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-02-22 22:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13176690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elena_stidham/pseuds/elena_stidham
Summary: It started with a swift hit to the back of his legs, then three more strikes to his knees. There was a crack, and suddenly, Yuuri Katsuki realised that he might never be able to skate again.





	1. To Kill A Hero

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language, violence  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: Honestly, the music from Minecraft’s “Norse Mythology” texture pack  
> I had the idea for this fic after seeing the teaser trailer for “I, Tonya.” I mean, I knew about the whole incident with Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan before I saw the teaser, but when I saw the clip then something just clicked and I thought: yes, perfect. This is perfect. And I proceeded to plan this fic all within fifteen minutes. I hope this turns out as wonderfully as I thought it would in my head! This all centres around the 2022 winter Olympics, so this takes place at the events in 2021, so forgive me if some information is off I can’t predict the future. I just took some dates in previous seasons and just make an estimated guess based on that. I plan to go see “I, Tonya” when I go back to university but for now I’m just relying on interviews and footage and Wikipedia articles about everything until then. I hope this turns out as good as I pictured it! This took me a long time to write – first chapters are always the hardest – but now that it was written I am SO excited to get started on the rest! A huge thanks goes to my best friend, Lily, for being my beta for this fic (I feel she has a better grasp of Viktuuri while Abby has a better grasp of Otayuri) and just being awesome! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Happy Holidays (I finished this on Christmas Eve)!  
> -Elena

Yuuri’s hand reached to his throbbing leg, almost certain the bone was broken. Was it broken? He didn’t know for sure. It _felt_ like it was broken, but then again it had never felt broken before.

“Viktor!” He screamed, his leg shaking as a sob ripped through his throat, his body lurching forward to look at the damage they had done. Was it bleeding? It wasn’t bleeding. But what if it _should_ be bleeding? He couldn’t tell. His mind was racing with so many questions he didn’t know what he should believe, what could have prompted an _attack._

“Why, why?” He wailed out loud, suddenly hearing a crowd of people forming behind him. He looked over – he saw Viktor, and he felt relief, but when he saw the press swarming after, the terror came right back. He turned back, his hands gripping at his leg as if that would suddenly make him feel better. _“Why?”_

His cheeks were wet, the pain in his leg and thigh pounding along with the migraine that grew in his temple. Yuuri felt arms around him, and when he jumped – expecting them to hurt him – he saw Viktor’s face and eased into the touch.

“What happened?” Viktor whispered to him, the worry real in his tone.

“I don’t know, it was some hard black stick,” He sobbed, some people in the crowd were knelt by him, trying to take off his skates and see what was wrong with his knee. “Something really, really hard!”

Viktor shushed him, taking one of his hands and holding it tightly, he looked over at the paramedics for a moment. Someone called an ambulance. He looked back to Yuuri with his lips parted, about to speak, but no sound came. Nobody knew what to say.

All his work – year after year of painstaking training and rigorous effort into his skating –  Yuuri saw slip down the drain, and all thanks to a swift hit to the back of his leg. All of it – _all of it_ – was gone, all of it was worth for nothing.

That alone hurt worse than any broken leg he could have had.

_“Help me!”_

 

* * *

 

 

_News item from the IceNetwork website, October 19, 2021:_

**_2021 ROSTELECOM CUP PREVIEW: HIGH STAKES AT FIRST GRAND PRIX_ **

_While the Olympic season started a few months ago for some, the skaters of the Grand Sprix series mark the Rostelecom Cup as the beginning road to Beijing. And after the competitors have had a few domestic events and competitions under their belts, it’s time for them to step up their game – and it all starts tomorrow in Moscow._

_For the men, all eyes will be on Yuuri Katsuki and Yuri Plisetsky, who are going up against each other for what may be the last time – then again, based on Katsuki’s remarkable record at 29 years old, he most definitely has the capability to continue for at least another three or four seasons. Last season, the two skaters were once again neck and neck – and by 15 points, Plisetsky was victorious._

_Here's a look at the men competing in Rostelecom this week._

 

Practice started that morning with a kiss, starting at the lips before brushing up the cheek and behind the ear – a simple whisper tickling the skin.

“Please watch me, like you always do.”

Viktor swooned, licking his lips softly as he watched Yuuri skate away from him. He brought his fingertips up to his mouth, lacing them across the tingling sensation that devoured his kiss and electrified his whole body.

“I told you fucks not to do that shit in front of me!”

When Viktor turned his head, he saw that the scowl on Yuri’s face was particularly narrow this time, this hair hollowing the shadows in his face that made him look younger. He wasn’t even twenty-one yet, but the fire he carried ever since he was old enough to tie his skates still breathed into the life behind his eyes.

“Sorry, Yurio—”

“—That’s not my name—”

“—I didn’t start it this time, so don’t get to angry at me, pretty please?” He smirked with a playful wink. Yuri just groaned loudly, pushing past him onto the ice and starting with a few basic laps around the rink.

Viktor continued to stare, completely lovestruck at the movements as he swayed along to the rhythm softly by himself. He felt a sharp pain in his leg all of a sudden, but it quickly went away, a lingering feeling as if his body was trying to tell him something.

Very simply, he ignored it.

 

**Viktor Nikiforov**

@v-nikiforov

**I would like to just say I’m extremely proud of how far @realyuurikatsuki has come and that you’re going to be blown away at Rostelecom <3**

**10/19/21**

**506 Retweets            2K Likes**

The Rostelecom Cup had a large turnout, as it normally did, but there seemed to be a lot of tension in the air between the Yuri’s Angels and Yuuri’s Demons. It was surprising – while Viktor was acknowledged, he was completely overshadowed by the two skaters. He didn’t mind, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to tease the cameras for old time’s sake.

During this time, playful taunts were thrown around the lovebirds just as often as blown kisses. Even though Viktor retired, the taunts still felt natural, and in a way it was to help with the fact that they couldn’t share the ice anymore.

“Hey, Viktor, you know what I’m gonna give you for your birthday after I win?” Yuuri asked as he skated by.

Viktor grinned, leaning against the rink wall and crossing his arms and legs while he put on a smoulder. “That ass?”

“Nah, some spray on hair.”

Laughter erupted from the other skaters – he remembered Yuuri once said he was going to get him back for his piglet comment on live television, and he most certainly kept his word. He dramatically brought his hand to his heart with a gasp, and then placed the back of it across his forehead in a half-hearted attempted at a re-enactment of any “woe is me” scene in a Shakespeare production. “I’m ruined,” he moaned, not seeing his fiancé skate up behind him to whisper in his ear.

_“And also my ass.”_

Viktor’s body snapped around to envelop Yuuri in a hug, but the smaller skater slipped away and then glided away on one leg, a blown kiss, and a wink to add an extra tease.

“You’ve created a monster, Viktor.”

Viktor turned his head, chuckling at the face Christophe had made. “I didn’t create that monster, it was within him all along.”

Chris leaned against the wall separating the dry land from the ice and just shook his head with a grin. “Not him, the other Yuri.”

Viktor looked around, until he noticed blonde hair swirling around on the ice as he practiced. The fire wasn’t just in his eyes anymore, it was in his entire being. He knew why, too. He and Yuuri had been on and off regarding who won gold at the Grand Prix Final, and during the Olympics the Russian barely took gold by .01 of a point. He was doing everything he can to get into the Olympics, and doing everything he can to _win_ the Olympics. “He’s competitive,” Viktor commented simply.

Once their warm-up was over, the skaters got off the ice, and the next thing they knew it was time for the competition to start. Based on how the season started with this competition, nobody thought that the rest of it would pan out this way, that the world was going to fall apart at the reports that came next.

 

**ISU FIGURE SKATING**

@ISU_Figure

**1 – Yuuri Katsuki (JP) won the surprising Men’s event at Rostelecom Cup**

**2 – Yuri Plisetsky**

**3 – Minami Kenjirou**

**10/22/21**

**104 Retweets            908 Likes**

The Grand Prix Final continued to inch closer and closer, and as it did Yuuri felt more and more confident in his abilities. Everyone seemed to take notice.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him, Vitya,” Yakov had said to him once, “But he’s proven himself to be just as challenging as you were.”

Viktor only smirked at that, and remembered to make a point very clear to him: “I didn’t create that. I just activated it.”

Yakov shrugged. “Too bad that the best he’s going to get at the Olympics is silver,” he said. “Because I’m going to make sure my Yuri wins gold, no matter what.”

“We’ll see about that.”

_News item from The Star Online website, December 5, 2021:_

**_ANGELS VS DEMONS: FANS OF PLISETSKY AND KATSUKI DRAW BATTLE LINES FOR THE 2021 GRAND PRIX FINAL_ **

_When the season kicked off at the Rostelecom Cup in Moscow this year, everyone became very clear on who they wanted to become champion. Either way, both athletes are prime candidates for the 2022 Winter Olympics in Japan, but it’s without a doubt that this competition would determine who would most likely take home the gold._

_Fans of Katsuki believe that his victory at the Rostelecom Cup is further proof that he would be the winner, while fans of Plisetsky hold the argument that he was the youngest Olympian to win gold in 2018. Even other skaters have made comments based on their performances. Former skater Otabek Altin mentioned that he had been friends with Plisetsky since the 2016 Grand Prix Final, and because of which he had seen “nothing but improvement” out of Plisetsky._

_“Yuri’s skating has evolved into something powerful,” Altin said. “He’s a force to be reckoned with, and I’m really excited to see how he’s still improved at the Grand Prix this year.”_

_Altin retired early in the 2021 season due to an ankle injury but he will be a commentator at this competition._

“Oi! Piggy!”

Yuuri turned his head, watching his friend and rival walk past him with his skates in his hands. “Better watch your ass,” he said, not turning back to face him even as he walked past. “Because I’m going to kick it at the Grand Prix.”

Viktor grinned, looking back to his fiancé and leaning in to whisper in his ear. “He’s going to eat his own words.”

Yuuri shrugged, not caring if he would take gold or silver at this competition – his real focus was taking home gold during the Olympics, so if he at least makes the podium he’s guaranteed a spot this winter.

The Grand Prix’s short program kicked off shortly, and the skaters could literally feel the divide between the crowd on if they were rooting for Katsuki or Plisetsky. If they were petty about it, they might have single-handedly started World War III. Thankfully, they would just behave like any average American football fan.

“I don’t want you doing any crazy jumps during practice,” Viktor said, skating up Yuuri’s laces. He started with the right foot first – it always was good luck for him to do it this way – and then moved to do the left foot last. “Save it for your performance, just do some simple movements to warm yourself up to it.” When he finished, he helped Yuuri stand, and guided him over to the ice and waited until practice was announced. “I’ll meet you in the dressing room to help you get into costume afterwards,” he said with a firm pat on his back. “Take a deep breath. You’re going to do great.”

Yuuri obeyed, taking a deep breath and then gliding onto the ice to warm up. He did a few laps and attempted a few jumps he was struggling with – landing them with a slight wobble. He had to be careful; he felt anxiety bubbling in the pit of his stomach and he couldn’t explain where it was coming from. It was the impeding feeling of doom, something growing and telling him that _something is going to go wrong_ , but he didn’t let it take him down. He made it this far in his career. He’d be damned if he let anxiety stop him now.

When his practice session ended, he glided off the ice, noticing Viktor was preoccupied with a discussion with Yakov at the moment, so he decided to just head to the dressing room and get started anyway – he knew Viktor would meet him there like he said.

He stepped out into the corridor, walking on his guarded skates to the dressing room, his anxiety evolving into the sudden urgency to _run._ But he didn’t run, he didn’t even know why he felt the need to run, until he found himself knocked on the ground with an intense pain shooting from the back of his legs.

Yuuri screamed, scrambling to his hands and knees and trying to turn around to look and see why his leg hurt all of a sudden, thinking that maybe he twisted it while he walked; but when he turned, it wasn’t a misstep. It wasn’t anything he had done wrong. It was a _person._ It was somebody, and Yuuri watched in terror as he brought down the police baton on his knees again.

“Somebody help me!” Yuuri screamed, tears welling in his eyes as he tried to back away on his arms. His legs hurt, especially when he moved even in the slightest. “Please!”

His vision blurred with tears, and he watched the man drop the stick back down on his legs again. Pain rushed through his body, but this time, he heard a crack when he was hit.

_“Viktor!”_

With one last strike, there was another crack, and the attacker ran. Yuuri lied there in a daze, his leg throbbing and sobs crashing from his throat. He felt sick. He wanted to throw up and scream. He forced himself to sit up, his arms shaking and he lurched forward in reaction to moving his leg just slightly.

It hurt.

Yuuri’s hand reached to his throbbing leg, almost certain the bone was broken. Was it broken? He didn’t know for sure. It _felt_ like it was broken, but then again it had never felt broken before.


	2. Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: My half-assed attempt at a playlist on Spotify for Civilian. I won’t release it yet until I get a better grip on it.  
> I had looked into dozens and dozens of news articles about the Nancy Kerrigan attack after it happened initially, and so two of those articles make an appearance (except with altered names, genders, dates, and locations) in this chapter as homage to the journalists that covered the attack initially. Other than that, I had written all of this in a day. I’m actually super impressed with myself on that one. Maybe because I’m excited for Lily to beta all these chapters and I can get them out to you guys – idk it’s something I’ve had in mind for a long time and I was super pumped. I originally was wanting to post this onto a different website where only specific people can view it (I can’t mention the name because I was told my account would be suspended if I did), but I decided that I really wanted to share this fic with the world instead. So! I hope I don’t regret that decision! Thank you guys so much for reading and I hope you enjoy! Happy New Year!  
> -Elena

**Elena Stidham**

@thebaehood

**It’s official. This whole season is fucking cursed.**

**12/6/21**

**29 Retweets            204 Likes**

_News item from Sports Illustrated Magazine, December 7, 2021:_

**_MANIAC ATTACKS OLYMPIC SKATER_ **

_MOSCOW [Monday] – Yuuri Katsuki, Japan's best male figure skater and one of the gold-medal favorites for the 2022 Olympics, was attacked after practice before the short programs by an unidentified man who struck him on the right knee with a blunt object and escaped. The attack jeopardized Katsuki’s chances of qualifying for the Winter Games in Beijing, China._

_Katsuki, who is 29 and lives in St. Petersburg, Russia, had just completed a practice in preparation for the competition at the worldwide championships. A witness said the attacker, described as a white man about 6 feet 2 inches and 200 pounds, hit Katsuki with a club-like instrument resembling a tire iron, a crowbar or a nightstick. Katsuki was taken to a local hospital for X-rays. His right leg was broken, according to his doctor, who said he suffered a cut, bruise and swelling on his left leg but remains unfractured. The doctor, Dr. Evgeni Plushinka, said the attack appeared calculated._

_"He was clearly trying to debilitate him," Plushinka said._

_Katsuki’s fiancé, Viktor Nikiforov, rushed to his sobbing husband-to-be, lifted him and carried him into the locker room. "It hurts, it hurts so bad; I'm so scared," Katsuki told his fiancé._

_Jei Haruka, his agent, said late tonight that Katsuki’s knee continued to swell, forcing the cancellation of a planned practice. He will be examined again by doctors tomorrow morning. "He sustained quite a blow, physically and emotionally as well," Haruka said. Katsuki told ABC Sports tonight that he would attempt to skate after his recovery._

_"It's not the most important thing, skating," Haruka said. "He’s had quite a good run up to now. Our main concern right now is making sure that he makes a quick and proper recovery. It may come down to his retirement in the end, but if that’s what it takes to ensure his well-being, I would rather that he had retired last week.”_

_It is unclear when Katsuki is anticipated to recover, and if he is going to participate in the 2022 Winter Olympics._

**Anonymous** said:

holy shit??? who would do something like that???

 **soft-eros-demon** answered:

               That’s the question literally everybody is asking rn

 **4 notes**                  #some fucker that needs to go to jail #ask #anonymous

**Yuri Plisetsky**

@yuri-plisetsky

**Once I find the monster that attacked my best friend I will make sure that he will never be able to walk again.**

**12/6/21**

**3K Retweets            6.4K Likes**

 

_News item from People Magazine, December 9, 2021:_

**_TERROR ON ICE: SKATERS AGREE THAT KATSUKI DESERVES SPOT IN 2022 OLYMPICS_ **

_MOSCOW, DEC. 9 — The top finishers in the men’s short program at the Grand Prix Final said tonight that they would accept any decision placing Yuuri Katsuki on the Olympic team, even though he withdrew from the competition today after being assaulted on Monday._

_Yuri Plisetsky of Moscow, Russia, who is seeking to make his second Olympic team, won the competition today. Jean-Jacques Leroy of Canada finished second, and Minami Kenjirou of Japan, took third._

_Wednesday night's long program will account for two-thirds of the total scoring. Two spots are available for Japan on the Olympic team, but one of those spots is likely to be awarded to Katsuki. It's Win or Watch._

_A bylaw of the International Figure Skating Association would allow a contestant to be placed on the Olympic team even if the skater hasn't competed in the national championships. A decision by the international committee of the U.S.F.S.A. will be made Wednesday night after the long program._

_If Katsuki is placed on the Olympic team – likely on the condition that his broken knee heal sufficiently by late January – only Wednesday’s winner would also be chosen to represent Japan at the Winter Games, which begin Feb. 4 in Beijing, China. The second-place finisher here would likely be named as an alternate, and would replace Katsuki if he didn't recover._

_"It's not my decision to make," Kenjirou said. "If they decided not to take me, I'd accept that."_

_Leroy agreed. "Yuuri’s been in this much longer than I've been," he said._

_Katsuki was attacked in Moscow after a practice on Monday by a man who clubbed his right knee with an object resembling a pipe or a crowbar or a stick. The assailant has not been apprehended. Katsuki withdrew from the competition today because of the break in the knee that made it impossible to skate._

_"I think they’d accept graciously if the ISU sends Yuuri," said Celestino Cialdini, who coached Katsuki before his current coach, Viktor Nikiforov. "He’s paid his dues, he's come back strong this year. If they choose to do that, I think they’ll probably have their strongest team."_

_"What happened was no fault of Yuuri’s," said Alain Leroy, who coaches his son, Jean-Jacques. "It's a tragic thing. It might be more tragic to discard him if he is capable of going and skating well."_

_Kenjirou said he would also abide by any decision of the international committee if hhe finished second. "I'm here to have fun; I'm just happy to be in the position I'm in," he said. Seles sympathizes._

_Monte Seles, the tennis star, has not played a competitive match since he was stabbed on April 30 by a man who wanted him to drop in the ranking._

_Through his management firm, the International Management Group in Cleveland, Seles released a statement about the attack on Yuuri Katsuki._

_"Crimes against us are more public but no more tragic than what happens to too many innocent victims today," Seles said. "My thoughts are with Yuuri, and I sympathize with the shock and horror he and other victims of senseless crimes experience."_

_Katsuki’s expecting to compete in the Olympics if he recovers in time, according to his manager._

 

**yuuri katsuki up**

@updatedyuurik

**Our hearts go out to @realyuurikatsuki today – keep him in your thoughts and prayers guys. We can only imagine the pain he’s going through. **

**12/6/21**

**975 Retweets            1.9K Likes**

 

_News item from TIME Magazine, December 10, 2021:_

**_EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH VIKTOR NIKIFOROV AFTER HORRIFIC ATTACK_ **

_Yuuri Katsuki was attacked on Monday, December 7 th by an unnamed man with a hard stick of sorts, resulting in Katsuki’s right leg being broken and his left severely swollen and injured. He had been avoiding speaking to the press since the incident, as had his fiancé and coach, Viktor Nikiforov. However, today, Nikiforov stepped forward to discuss the events that happened that terrible night. _

_TIME: Before we begin talking – I would just like to ask how you’re feeling about all of this. I know it must be extremely hard on all of you._

**_VIKTOR NIKIFOROV: It is. It’s horrifically hard. But my feelings on the subject don’t really matter, considering I wasn’t the one taking the hit._ **

_But surely it’s impacted you in some way?_

**_Of course it has. It’s affected all of us. Everyone I talked to about this is reacting to it differently and handling the news in their own way._ **

_How so?_

**_Well, I’m sure you’ve seen reactions. Christophe Giacometti, for example, he’s shocked – like, he doesn’t even know how to react kind of shocked. Phichit Chulanont is completely distraught – Yuuri is his best friend, after all. It’s just been a number of different reactions and standpoints about the subject from all ranges all across the board._ **

_How do you feel about Yuri Plisetsky’s win after the attack? And the fact he’s been awfully quiet about the subject. Apart from the one tweet – which I’m sure you’ve seen – he hasn’t really said anything at all. What are your thoughts on that?_

**_Well, to answer your first question: I’m proud. I’m always proud if Yuri wins, even if it means my Yuuri taking silver in result. He’s like a little brother to me, after all. I would have hoped that he won after everything was said and done. Now, for the second, it doesn’t really bother me, nor does it bother my Yuuri. I know Yuri well enough, and it’s obvious from the tweet to know that he’s furious about the scenario. We three are actually very close, regardless of rivalry, and Yuri has a tendency to close up and get explosive when he gets mad. So to answer in simple terms: I have no negative thoughts on it. I just hope he doesn’t let his anger affect his performances._ **

_How’s Yuuri doing, at the moment?_

**_I don’t have the right to comment._ **

_Why not?_

**_Because I’m not Yuuri. I mean, I know what he’s told me and I know what he’s most likely thinking based on his behaviour, but I feel that it would be inappropriate to speak on behalf of him about something like that. That should be something he reveals in time._ **

_I understand. Is there anything you can say on behalf of him?_

**_Well, the obvious: he hopes to make a quick and speedy recovery and the attack was inhumane, etcetera._ **

_What exactly happened during the attack?_

**_Someone beat his legs with a stick. There’s not much else to it._ **

_I mean – on your side. How did you know where he was and that he was in trouble?_

**_I didn’t. We agreed to meet in the dressing room after practice to help him into his costume, and I was preoccupied with sponsors at the time when practice ended, so I didn’t know what was going on until I went to go meet him and I heard him screaming for me._ **

_What were you thinking when you heard him – when you saw him?_

**_God, I was petrified. I didn’t know what was going on and the next thing I knew paramedics were everywhere and he was wailing in pain. I didn’t get a solid grasp on what was happening until we were in the ambulance. It was horrifying. I thought he was dying – I thought I was about to lose the love of my life. But he needed me, and I did my best to try and keep it together for him._ **

_That must have been horrible._

**_It was. It really was. But I’m so glad that my Yuuri is okay and that he’s going to be alright. We just have to get through this for right now._ **

_When is his recovery expected, do you know?_

**_The doctor told us broken bones take six to eight week to heal, so it would be around late January to early February._ **

_Do you think he’ll recover in time to compete in the Olympics?_

**_It’s a possibility. I can’t rule anything out with my Yuuri – he’s an incredible skater and he’s even more talented at using his determination._ **

_What’s that supposed to mean?_

**_It means he can defeat the odds. He’s done it before, and without a doubt I feel that he can do it again._ **

****

**Anonymous** said:

Viktor’s interview makes me so sad like honestly I want to cry I feel so bad for them like I just want to bubble wrap them and protect them forever my poor babies didn’t deserve any of this

 **fuckyeahyuurikatsuki** answered:

               i do too anon. the best we can do right now is just be there to support them through everything in their time of need

 **25 notes**                  #viktor nikiforov #anons

 

**Phichit Chulanont**

@phichit-chu

**While I genuinely love the flood of care and support for Yuuri and Viktor, it’s important to remember to also give them space. Don’t bombard them. Don’t harass them. Just be patient. Things will get better in time.**

**12/10/21**

**7K Retweets            10K Likes**

 

**Mary Christmas**

               @marypkettletea

**Replying to @phichit-chu: the fact that this has to be reminded is sad and just disappointing. **

**12/10/21**

**5 Likes**

 

_News item from Newsweek Magazine, December 11, 2021:_

**_ATTACKED FIGURE SKATER IS UNABLE TO COMPETE_ **

_Yuuri Katsuki, a gold-medal favorite for the Olympics, made an emotional withdrawal from the international figure skating championships today after a knee injury suffered in a clubbing attack on Monday._


	3. Oxygen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language, heavy angst and existentialism, eating disorder development  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: burned out by dodie  
> Guys, this chapter was super hard to write. Like legitimately, I’m feeling depressed right now after listening to burned out and writing this. Plus my neck hurts like hell. I need a massage. Also! I had gotten a comment saying that I was missing Yuuri crying “why me?” during his attack, and I didn’t forget that. It was included in the first chapter, but I didn’t write it as “why me?” because oddly enough, Nancy Kerrigan never says “why me?” If you watch the footage, she’s wailing and holding her leg while crying “why?” over and over again, so that’s what I wrote. I don’t understand why Kerrigan is linked with “why me?” when she…never said it. Is it one of those Mandala Effect things? I’m not sure. I was just going off the footage I found. Anyway! Thank you guys so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it….and cry!  
> -Elena

“Yuuri, Yuuri, breathe with me,” Viktor whispered gently, watching the paramedics rush to take off his skates. “Breathe with me, count of four.”

“It _hurts—”_

“—I know. I know. You need to breathe, Yuuri. Your panic is making you hurt worse.” Viktor kept his voice calm and his hands gently cradled one of Yuuri’s as he spoke, thumb stroking his palm. He had learned a lot on how to help his fiancé during his random fits of panic over the years, and even then he still felt that he had a lot more to learn. One thing he remembered, however, was crowds. The more, the scarier.

Once Yuuri’s skates were off, Viktor scooped him up into his arms and started walking, ignoring everyone’s demands to stay put as he walked them into the locker room, sitting him down on the bench and then locking the door when he turned back. He walked over, kneeling down in front of Yuuri and taking his hands that were reaching to hold his leg. “Yuuri, breathe with me, the ambulance will be here soon, breathe with me.”

Their equal breathing together was on count four. It took a few breaths to steady his panic enough for the injured skater to be able to reach each count without his breath quivering, and it took several more before he was lucid enough to talk.

“What _happened?”_ Viktor asked, finally.

“Someone attacked me,” Yuuri replied, taking a shaking deep breath and doing a few more equal breaths to try and relax himself enough again. “I don’t know who it was but they beat me with a stick. I-I think they broke my legs.”

Viktor locked eyes with him as he spoke, reaching up to wipe the tears off his cheeks with his thumb. “They’ll heal,” he said, petting the top of his knees gently. Yuuri flinched in response, and Viktor took his hands off of him altogether to cross his arms. “Did you recognise anything about the person that attacked you?”

Yuuri shook his head. “I couldn’t even see him, Vitya. I just saw the _stick_ and I started crying and then I couldn’t see anything at all. It hurts. It hurts so bad, I’m so _scared_ —”

“I know. I know Yuuri. It’s okay – hey, hey, keep breathing again. You’re starting to panic.”

In the distance, Viktor could hear sirens, and with a swift stand he kissed his fiancé gently before scooping him into his arms again, unlocking the door and taking him out the exit to meet their saving grace pulling up in the parking lot.

 

**Lilybelle Clark**

@QueenStrawberie

**All I want for Christmas is for @realyuurikatsuki to be happy and to know that we love and cherish him and appreciate everything he’s done for us. **

**12/14/21**

**9 Retweets            5 Likes**

 

Yuuri had seen white in many forms in his life. Snow. Paper. The soft linen within his sheets. However there was one type of white that was never associated with a good memory: hospital walls. This hospital in Moscow was no different; and Yuuri had no choice but to stare at the paleness on the ceiling and remind himself of the fact that his fucking leg was broken.

The morphine had started to kick in by now and click off the pain switch, so the skater’s breathing was steady and his brain was able to fully rationalise what happened. The sound of voices outside drew his attention back to reality, and when his head turned to look at the door he saw Viktor stepping inside, speaking to someone in Russian before closing the door for privacy. He sighed, sitting down in a chair across from the bed and not even noticing someone was finally awake in there.

“Vitya.”

Viktor practically jumped out of his skin, looking to his fiancé and then smiling warmly. “Oh, you’re awake.”

“I was asleep?”

“For a little while,” Viktor told him gently as he pulled the seat over to sit right next to Yuuri, taking his hand. “They had to put you under a while ago.”

Yuuri thought for a moment, before shaking his head. “I don’t remember.”

Viktor’s face softened, the back of his hand gently resting on Yuuri’s forehead to feel his temperature. His touch was careful and loving, like a mother’s. “Are you feeling okay?”

“A little,” Yuuri said quietly with a gentle nod. “I’m feeling the morphine, so my pain is gone, but I feel really groggy.

Viktor leaned over, taking the remote and then starting to lower the bed slightly. “Try going to bed,” he said, a small heartbroken crack in his tone. “You’ve had a shitty day today and you need the rest.”

“I can’t sleep. I don’t want to.”

Viktor paused, looking over to lock eyes with his fiancé before carefully putting the remote back and then sitting back down. “I’m so sorry, Yuuri,” he whispered softly.

“It’s not your fault,” Yuuri shook his head quickly before reaching over and taking one of Viktor’s hands. He went to say something else, but he stopped in the middle of his thought. He looked back to Viktor and suddenly he looked a little worried. “Who else knows about this?”

Viktor pursed his lips together, keeping their gaze locked before he finally he revealed the news: “Everyone does.”

“What?”

“Everyone does. It was already one of the top stories trending on Twitter by the time we got here.”

Yuuri froze, turning away from Viktor and then just staring down at his hands for a moment in shock. At first he didn’t know how – but then he remembered the swarm of cameras and newspaper reporters flooding around him and the paramedics and suddenly he became aware of why.

“I fucking _hate_ reporters,” Yuuri grumbled. “Now the whole world knows how _useless_ I am now.”

“They won’t think you’re useless, Yuuri—”

“— _Sure_ , Viktor—”

“—It wasn’t your fault—”

“—Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t fucking _skate_ anymore. What am I without my ability to skate, Viktor? How am I supposed to compete?” Yuuri was sitting up now, his eyes stinging and his face heating. “I’m nobody. I trained my whole life for this chance and I’m not even allowed to have it. My purpose in life was to skate, and now I have no purpose. I’m useless, Viktor, I’m _useless.”_

An empty sob escaped his throat, and suddenly Yuuri felt the tears slipping down his cheeks. He used his hand to wipe them away harshly, only for them to come back moments later. Everything had settled in by now – and the pain was no longer in his legs, but instead in his chest. In his heart.

Viktor stayed quiet for a moment, watching the broken skater sadly before he gently cradled his face, moving it up to where he could look at him in the eyes. Yuuri avoided his gaze. Viktor paused, then spoke in a gentle, hurt voice. “That’s not true. You’re not nobody.” Yuuri’s eyes glided up, locking with Viktor’s and he went to speak, but was quickly cut off by the Russian’s finger pressed to his lips to shush him. They stayed like that for a moment, before Viktor removed his finger and finished his thought: “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Yuuri’s crying wasn’t silent after that.

 

* * *

 

By the end of the week, Yuuri found that his home in St. Petersburg had changed. What once used to be his comfort and therapy, became his prison. He was landlocked within four walls and a roof, confined to this stupid ass wheelchair with Viktor constantly having to take care of him because he was unable to do this himself. He hated this. He hated where he was at and he hated how much longer he would have to go like this before he could even make an attempt to stand.

He was trapped.

Trapped was a bit of an understatement. Yuuri was so enclosed in this space that he felt like any minute now he was going to lose his mind. Granted, he didn’t like going outside much in the first place, but now that the ability to do so was taken away from him, he wanted to just curl up in a ball and scream.

Viktor always was doing the best he could. “Just a few more weeks, Yuuri,” he would say. “It’ll be gone in a blink of an eye.”

And then Yuuri would blink his eyes, only to have them open back up in his god forsaken wheelchair.

Yuuri had read everything. Every tweet, every article on the news, every ask in his inbox and the countless letters that somehow made it to his doorstep – he had read them all, down to the very last letter and syllable pronounced with their teeth. He didn’t know what to tell his parents – they knew, of course, everyone fucking did – but they didn’t approach him like everyone else had. They waited until Yuuri was ready to call them first, and that’s when they finally talked.

Friends came often, showing their support, bringing little care packages and unintentionally reminding Yuuri that he was pathetically useless. He knew they meant well, but they didn’t know that they would insult with every word of comfort. He knew they only wanted the best, but their best made him feel the worst.

Of course, the press was just wanting to do their job – emailing him and asking for interviews – but the press was the last thing he wanted to deal with right then. He couldn’t even go out to eat, because he would notice people everywhere pointing and whispering _“that’s him!”_ and trying to sneak a picture with their phones.

Everything was out of control.

So he figured, maybe he could get control of at least _something,_ desperately searching for that one thing in his life that he was able to interact with despite his injury. But then he realised: _food._

He had to think on it for a while, but refusing to eat started to feel like an accomplishment. He would eat with Viktor during dinner, who thought all the empty plates beforehand weren’t given to Makkachin or put back in the pot on the stove.

“I’m still full from lunch,” he would lie with a warm smile, when the only thing he had eaten that day was a banana at eight in the morning. He couldn’t exercise his weight off, so he figured if he didn’t take in any weight it would make it that much easier for him to get back on the ice in relatively the same shape he was in. It was at least something he could control. At least, that’s what he thought.

He just started shrinking. He would look out the window, his body wasting away in the same way as the snow fell from the skies. He was depleting, and it was only a matter of time for everything to backfire. Instead of Yuuri having at least something in his control, it turned into something else that controlled him in the end.

Then there was nothing.

 

**thebaehood** :

Hey, I know you’ve probably read thousands of these at this point, but I want you to know that I love you and I hope that you recover soon. I don’t know when you’re comfortable to come back into the public eye, but please remember to take care of yourself, okay? Best wishes.

                                                                                                                                                                        ••• ANSWER

 

Yuuri was tired. He was so, so tired. Starvation lead to exhaustion and his overall weakness drained him into a lifeless inhabitant in his own body. It felt like his body didn’t even belong to him – like he shouldn’t even live there.

Nevertheless, he did.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he finally said to Viktor one night in the kitchen.

“Keep doing what, Yuuri?”

Yuuri gestured to himself, as if the answer was as obvious as the wheelchair he wanted to burn. “Waiting,” he replied. “I can’t keep waiting anymore.”

“It’s only a few more weeks,” Viktor tried to comfort him with a sad smile and a gentle pat on his arm. “When it’s over, it’ll all feel like a bad dream.”

Yuuri pinched himself. He wasn’t dreaming. “Define ‘a few,’ Viktor.”

“You know what I mean,” he sighed.

“No, I don’t!” Yuuri shouted at him, but then immediately apologising and lowering his voice when he noticed the entire atmosphere of the room change. He continued his thought, but his voice was lower. And yet, in a way, it was deadlier. “You don’t know how long this has been – how long it’s _felt_. I’ve been trapped for _months,_ but it’s only been a little over a _week._ ”

“I understand, Yuuri—”

“—No, you _don’t!”_ But this time, he faltered. And this time, he didn’t apologise for the changes. “I can’t do this anymore, Vitya. I don’t know if I can. I can’t do anything anymore, I can’t live the same way anymore, hell, I can’t even think the same anymore. I’m stuck, Vitya. I’m stuck with no way out.”

Viktor avoided his gaze, trying to think of something to lesson the burden of the countdown and give him something to do, something that he needed. Well, they had been together for a while, after all, and while gold wasn’t common in Yuuri’s bibliography…his heart was consistent in the colour.

“You know what, Yuuri?” he said, finally, looking up to face him. “You know what I thought of that you can do?”

Yuuri groaned softly, already remembering the previous suggestions that never worked. He did kind of like the idea of a blog though, thinking that it may help his overthinking. He expected something cheesy or something that only reminded him of what he can’t have, but it was actually something different. Something more intimate. Something more sincere.

“You can plan our wedding.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to add more here at this chapter, but honestly I wanted this to end on something lighthearted and fluffy feeling instead of angsty as I originally anticipated, so I hope it was emotional enough for you guys! I can’t wait for you guys to see the next couple of chapters unfold! We’re just getting started. Once again, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
> -Elena


	4. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language, a heated about-to-become-sex scene that doesn’t actually turn into sex, death/suicide threat mentions  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: Your Woman by White Town  
> I just watched I, Tonya y’all! I LOVED it! The acting was phenomenal on all parts and the writing was incredible and they got all the little details right – I was actually waiting to write this chapter before I had all my questions answered about certain misconceptions, and that movie definitely answered them! So hopefully, this fic starts to show the parallels and I can’t wait to write the rest of it. Also, you’re going to hear it referenced a lot in this fic, so I want to point out if you don’t know, Sledkom (Sledstvennyi komitet) is basically the Russian FBI. Also, check out my tumblr! I'm thebaehood. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> -Elena

_News item from International Figure Skating Magazine, December 11, 2021:_

**_SLEDKOM BEGINS SEARCH FOR KATSUKI’S ASSAILANT_ **

_It’s the question everybody has been asking since it first began._

_“Who did it?”_

_It was the whack heard around the world. Yuuri Katsuki was finishing practice to compete in the short programs for the Grand Prix Final when suddenly he was clubbed in the knees on the way to the dressing room – breaking his right leg and injuring his left. Katsuki refuses to comment on anything at the moment, but one thing is for certain that everyone else can agree on: nobody knows who did it. Who did it? It was a hit and run, something that typically goes unsuspected, unnoticed, and is completely untraceable, unless the hitter is sloppy._

_Fortunately for Sledkom, the hitter in this case was extremely sloppy._

_Left behind at the arena was a police baton and video footage, along with countless other eyewitnesses who weren’t able to save Katsuki in time or watched a random man with a stick flee._

_While it has been difficult to decipher the low-quality footage in order to properly see the attacker’s face, DNA has been found on the baton. The DNA is linked to Vanya Start, Yuri Plisetsky’s former bodyguard. Of course, because of this, eyebrows have been raised and suspicions have gone awry regarding Plisetsky’s involvement in the event._

**Anonymous** said:

holy shit

**erosdemonsandagapeangels** answered:

               The plot thickens

**7 notes**                  #i just hope yuuri is given justice #and yuri isn’t the monster #answered

 

It had been two weeks since Yuuri was seen in the public eye, and with he and Viktor avoiding the news like the plague, it allowed them to focus on each other, the wedding, and take a moment to breathe. But finally, after a long reign of silence, Yuuri had decided that he was ready to agree to interviews, despite not having any prior knowledge about what Sledkom might have discovered. Then again, if they had found out, they would have told them by now, right?

Regardless, Yuuri was really starting to second guess this.

He could practically hear what everybody was murmuring when they would walk into the coffeeshop and see Yuuri, almost ten pounds lighter and in a wheelchair. It was awful. He noticed the lingering eyes or the small pauses to stare as they set up the camera. He heard faint traces of his name whispered and echoed along the walls until they reached his ears. He hated it all.

“Hello?”

Yuuri looked up, snapping back into reality as his eyes focused on the source of the sound. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” he said quietly, disappointed in himself. “What did you say?”

“Are you ready?” The woman asked, her voice gentle and understanding, ready to take as much time as she’d need to make sure that everything was okay with him. He took a deep breath and nodded, smiling softly to mimic her. She brought her hands together and looked to her notepad, double checking everything with her crew before she turned back to face the skater. “Alright,” she said. “Can you tell me what happened the night you were attacked?”

 

**ABC NEWS**

@abcnews

**EXCLUSIVE – Watch @realyuurikatsuki talk about the attack and allegations to @yuri-plisetsky involvement, saying that he “isn’t the type.”**

**12/16/21**

**24 Retweets            45 Likes**

 

**jules**

               @flowerpahn

**Replying to @abcnews: Saying @yuri-plisetsky isn’t the type to plan an attack to win is like @danielhowell saying that he isn’t into choking. **

**12/16/21**

**2 Likes**

 

Viktor was accustomed to insane rumours going around about other skaters in his lifetime, but the thought of Yuri Plisetsky organising an attack against his fiancé is beyond insane. He knows Yuri well enough, he knows that he would never do something like that…would he? Viktor made a face, ashamed that he second guessed Yuri like that.

He stared at the screen, trying to proofread his statement over and over, as if the perfect grammar alone would convince the world that a poor boy from Moscow with nothing back home wouldn’t do anything possible to win gold and keep sponsors to support him and his family. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t…right?

Viktor took a deep breath, giving up on revisions since he couldn’t concentrate on anything except the possibility of an exception. After careful consideration and adding translations in Russian, French, and broken Japanese, he screenshotted the page and posted it to twitter.

Was it right, defending Yuri? Was he positively sure that Yuri wouldn’t do something like this? Did he make a mistake? He checked his phone, noticing that Yuri still hadn’t responded to his questioning text, noticing that he had been left on read.

At this point, he didn’t know what to believe anymore.   

 

**soft-eros-demon**

**Reasons Why Yuri Plisetsky is GUILTY for the Attack on Yuuri Katsuki**

Okay, I’ve consistently seen angels defend Yuri over and over with shitty reasons and so I’m here to remind you that he’s not as pure or as good as you think. Once you finish reading this and still believe that he’s not a terrible person to Yuuri, then unfollow me because I don’t want pieces of shit like you following my blog.

  1. Yuuri once mentioned their first meeting consisted of Yuri mocking him for crying and yelling at him to retire because there “shouldn’t be two Yuris in the same bracket,” so he’s never liked Yuuri from the start, no matter what you angels think.
  2. Other than one tweet, Yuri has been suspiciously quiet about the whole event.
  3. Even while they trained together, Yuri consistently was mean to Yuuri with put-downs and even violence. There’s even a video where, when Yuri was fifteen, he kicked Yuuri into the rink because he was jealous that Viktor decided to coach him instead of Yuri.
  4. The attacker was Vanya Start. If you don’t know who this, don’t worry, that means you’re not a stalker – but he was Yuri’s former bodyguard. Enough said.



 

Keep reading

 

2,394 notes        #yuri plisetsky #yuuri katsuki #figure skating

 

_“Fuck.”_

Yuri closed his eyes, his head rolling back as he let Otabek kiss down his neck and chest, hands clenching into fists to try and contain himself somewhat. He felt lips turn into tongue, and that’s when he let out a soft moan again. Oddly enough, he wasn’t getting into it as easy as he used to. Even when he felt Otabek’s mouth make contact on his nipples he didn’t feel his skin light up with a fiery ecstasy like it used to – and Otabek seemed to take notice.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He whispered quietly, kissing just under his jaw on the top of his neck.

Yuri shook his head slightly, closing his eyes tighter and trying not to worry the man on top of him. “Nothing,” he breathed out. “Keep going.”

Otabek paused, taking a deep breath and lifting his head so that way he could look Yuri in the eyes. Their lips brushed together gently, and he asked again. “There’s something on your mind. I can see it. You act like I don’t know you Yura.” There was a pause, where Yura didn’t say anything. Otabek sighed. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Yuri kept eye contact for just a moment, contemplating on if he should push it any further or finally confess to his little moment of weakness. He groaned softly and sighed, gently pushing Otabek off of him so he could sit up. He reached across the floor and started to put his shirt back on. “It’s nothing. Just a bunch of dumbass rumours,” he said, looking over to Otabek once he finished putting his shirt back on.

Otabek gave him a knowing look. _“Oh.”_

“Yeah, _oh,_ ” Yuri sighed, eyes making contact. “You believe me, don’t you? You wouldn’t think that I would actually…?” His voice trailed off.

There was a pause, before Otabek nodded. “Of course I believe you.”

Yuri’s eyes narrowed. “You hesitated.” He gave Otabek a moment to try and redeem himself, but when silence came in return, he groaned, hurt by the fact that literally nobody whole-heartedly believed him. He threw Otabek’s shirt back to him, before pushing himself to a stand and making his way to the kitchen – checking if their moment of distraction ruined what was in the oven. It didn’t, thankfully. “It’s such bullshit. Just because Vanya was my old bodyguard now everybody thinks I fucking did it and nobody believes me.”

Otabek followed and leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed. “I mean, the evidence is stacked against you.”

“I mean, there is supposed to be _trust_ in this relationship,” Yuri hissed, shooting a look at his boyfriend who shifted uncomfortably in response.

“I want to believe you, Yura, I really do,” Otabek said, walking up behind Yuri and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend from behind as he put the pan on the stove to let it cool off. “It’s just…a lot of this doesn’t make sense. Like, why the hell did you need a bodyguard in the first place?”

Yuri let himself be held for a moment as he took a deep breath. “Because I got a death threat.”

Instantly, Otabek let go, walking to the side as Yuri washed his hands so he could look Yuri in the eyes. He was serious. “What?” he asked. “When was this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was a while ago,” Yuri said simply, drying his hands with a towel. “They said if I skated at Rostelecom there would be two bullets in my back. Come to find out it was just one of the pig’s fucking psychotic fans. All we had to do was just call her parents and tell her what she said and they practically beat her ass right in front of me.” He shrugged. “But Yakov wanted to take precautions at Rostelecom, just in case. Once we had no use for him anymore he let him go.”

Otabek stared, trying to contemplate what he just heard. He knew Yuri was stressed during Rostelecom, but he just thought it was because of the pressure. He had no idea that his life was on the line – and he didn’t say anything, not even afterwards. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yuri turned and looked to him, leaning against the counter. “It was done and over with. I didn’t want to worry you.”

Otabek took a deep breath, leaning back for a moment before shaking his head and moving towards Yuri. “Fuck, I’m sorry—”

Yuri threw his arms up, taking a step back. “It’s fine, you’re fine. Whatever.” He turned and started to walk to the bedroom, wanting some time alone, before he felt arms wrap around him from behind again.

“I believe you,” Otabek said wholeheartedly, his nose nuzzled in the crook of his neck. “And I should have believed you earlier. I was just being fucking dumb.”

“Yeah you were,” Yuri laughed slightly, before he gave in and turned himself around. He reached his hands up, cradling Otabek’s face and pressing their foreheads together. “But it’s fine. Just have a little more trust in me, okay?”

Otabek nodded. “I promise.”

Yuri smiled softly, his thumb gently stroking his cheek as they just looked at each other for a moment in their shared silence. Otabek made the first move, leaning in and pressing their lips together softly, and Yuri complied, stepping backwards to try and bring his boyfriend with him to the bedroom; but as they turned to the hallway, they fell backwards. Yuri tried to grab onto the edge of the wall to help break their fall, but he still found himself on his back anyway.

They kissed right there in the hallway, just like before in the living room. Only this time, they didn’t stop.

 

**Yuri Plisetsky**

@yuri-plisetsky

**Okay since none of you are going to believe me no matter what I say, I give up. Your minds are already set. So whatever. Once I find out who REALLY was behind the attack, you’ll wish you listened to me.**

**12/20/21**

**2K Retweets            3.2K Likes**

 

**#justiceforyuuri**

               @flowerpahn

**Replying to @yuri-plisetsky: kill yourself**

**12/20/21**

**7 Retweets            15 Likes**

 

**ifyouiceskateyouagay**

Merry Christmas to everybody except Yuri Plisetsky and everybody that supports him :)

674 notes        #yuri plisetsky #if you still support him unfollow me you disgusting fuck

 

Viktor woke up to tender kisses on his face and down his neck, and when he opened his eyes he saw Yuuri on top of him – well, draped over him as best as he could – and smiling down at him. “Happy birthday,” he said softly.

Viktor smiled, rolling over to where Yuuri was beneath him, gently resting on the mattress. “This is the best birthday ever.”

“You just woke up,” Yuuri laughed.

Viktor nodded. “Yeah, I just woke up with you kissing me. Therefore, it’s the best birthday ever already.”

Yuuri puckered his lips together to try and stop himself from giggling, but it didn’t hide his smile and the faint redness tinting behind his cheeks. “Well, I was going to make you breakfast like I did last year and the year before, but I couldn’t reach the plates.” He shrugged. “I had to make do.”

“You don’t have to do anything except be mine,” Viktor kissed his cheek and rolled off of him, standing up and getting clothes out for them to wear. “Which, you are, so I got everything that I wanted for my birthday.”

Yuuri paused, his smile fading when Viktor left the bed and he took a deep breath as he pushed himself to sit up. “Can you just come back and cuddle for a little bit?” When they were first together he would always make up an excuse as to why, but in recent times he didn’t need to give a reason. He knew that Viktor would never, ever turn down cuddling with his fiancé. This time was no exception.

Viktor crawled back into the bed and pulled Yuuri close, pulling the blanket over them as he did. “This is the best birthday present ever,” he smiled, closing his eyes and nuzzling his nose into his neck. He wasn’t being sarcastic about it at all. “Thank you.”

There was a moment, where they both just enjoyed each other’s company and listened to the sounds of their shared breathing; after this moment, Yuuri finally decided to speak, his voice quiet. “No, thank _you,_ Vitya.”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything, Yuuri,” he mumbled against his neck, still pressed close to him.

“But I do,” Yuuri spoke softly. “You helped me so much, and you have no idea.” He pulled himself back a little, still holding onto Viktor, but to where he could look at him in the eyes. “Especially now, with this situation…I can’t thank you enough.”

Viktor went to speak, but Yuuri shushed him. Their lips made contact briefly, before Yuuri pulled away to look at him once again, his eyes softer and more at ease now. “I was struggling every single day, and you’ve helped me in ways I can’t describe. I don’t even know where I’d be without you.” He moved his hands up to cradle his face in his hands gently. “I love you.”

There was a pause, a beat, and a moment of silence before Viktor felt a few tears fall down his face. There had never been an emotion that felt as beautiful as relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to get better at my endings.   
> But anyway! There was a general theme to this chapter and Yuuri getting started on his healing was not it – that’s next chapter, actually. I hope you guys liked this chapter and thank you so much for reading!  
> -Elena


	5. Bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language, mentions of violence  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: Concentration music and ASMR  
> I just had an idea regarding this chapter so you guys are going to see that! I’m so excited to let it all flow together. I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reading it! I love all your comments about previous chapters and it really motivates me to keep writing. Follow me on Tumblr! I’m thebaehood. Thank you!!  
> -Elena

_News item from the New York Times, January 20, 2022:_

**_FIGURE SKATING; Outside, Looking Ahead: Katsuki Gets Set to Skate_ **

_Yuuri Katsuki said yesterday that he has begun making jumps and rehearsing his figure-skating routine on the floor of his home in St. Petersburg, Russia, and that he expects to return to the ice in a few days._

_Standing in the snow outside his home, Katsuki appeared buoyant, relaxed and confident as he made his first informal appearance since returning from the international championships in Moscow, where he withdrew after being clubbed on the knees by an assailant. Two men have been arrested in the case, including the bodyguard of Katsuki’s chief rival, Yuri Plisetsky._

_Katsuki would not discuss specifics of the case anymore. Asked whether he had anything to say to Plisetsky, who has not been implicated in the attack, Katsuki said no. He did say, however, that he was still wrestling with the question he asked as he sat, sobbing in pain, just after the attack: Why me?_

_"I don't think I could ever understand the answer, because I can't think that viciously," Katsuki said._

_Asked whether he would feel uncomfortable attending the Olympics with Plisetsky sharing the ice, Katsuki said, "I'm just really focusing on the skating."_

_His coach and fiancé, Viktor Nikiforov, said Katsuki viewed the swirl of events as something that would be interesting to watch on television "if it was somebody else."_

_But Katsuki said that the event had not been a distraction. He did, however, express surprise at the news media attention that has left reporters camped outside his house and has perhaps made him the world's most visible male athlete. He added with a laugh that he had amused himself by watching reporters at the end of the driveway through binoculars._

_"I can't let it stop me from trying to live," Katsuki said, "except it takes 10 minutes to get in the driveway, and I can't go to Coffeemania to pick up a cup of coffee because people are following me."_

_The swelling in his left knee has gone down considerably, Katsuki said, and his right leg has been examined to be completely healed. Dr. Evgeni Plushinka, who treated the skater during the initial attack, reported that the range of motion in his right knee had increased tremendously._

_"They're not going to allow me to jump right away,” Katsuki said of his doctors and coaches. "I think I'm going to be bored just skating around. But just to be out there will be nice."_

_Assuming his knee will heal properly and quickly, Katsuki said he expected no trepidation when he began jumping. Before the attack he was considered a gold medal favourite next month at the Winter Games in Beijing, China. When asked about his chance now, Katsuki said: "Assuming I'm in the shape I was in a while ago, it should be very good. Assuming I can do the program of my life. It's up to the judges, not me."_

_There has been some discussion about resuming training at an undisclosed location instead of the St. Petersburg rink to avoid the surge of news media attention. But, Viktor Nikiforov said there may be no place that Katsuki could find complete isolation._

_"I just might have to get on the ice regardless," Katsuki said. "I have this strange feeling there will be big applause when I come out. It might startle me. I want to be able to be used to it for the Olympics."_

_Plisetsky and his coach, Yakov Feltsmen, were seen leaving St. Petersburg, according to news agency reports. As long as Plisetsky is not implicated – and there is no evidence that he will be – officials of the International Skating Union have said that he will be allowed to compete in China if he chooses._

_The ISU said yesterday that it has rules allowing it to remove members from the Olympic team. The association added, however, that no action would be taken until more facts were available._

_"This is an unfortunate incident, but I can assure you that the ISU will take whatever action is necessary based on the facts," said Claire Smith, the association's president._

_If Plisetsky isn't implicated in Katsuki’s attack, the question then becomes, would he withdraw voluntarily?_

_"I don't think so," Viktor Nikiforov said._

_Former agent, Michele Rosenberg, agreed._

_"I'd be shocked," Rosenberg said. "I think there is no way he will drop out of the Olympics. It would go against his character. He's not a quitter."_

_Rosenberg, who represents Octavio Baiul, the world champion from Ukraine, said he thought Plisetsky was "innocent" in the attack on Katsuki._

_"His competitive spirit is so strong, he wants his opponents to step up at their best," Rosenberg said. "He doesn't want to hear people make excuses – a flu bug, an ankle sprain. No excuses. He wasn't jealous of Yuuri. He looked past Yuuri. His No. 1 rival is Octavio."_

 

**Yuuri Katsuki**

@realyuurikatsuki

**I’m so excited to get back on the ice with my dear friend @yuri-plisetsky – we’ve got a lot to catch up on!**

**1/22/22**

**4K Retweets            7.6K Likes**

 

**Heaven Rae**

               @heaven-rae

**Replying to @realyuurikatsuki: love you**

**1/22/22**

**8 Retweets            25 Likes**

 

**#justiceforyuuri**

               @flowerpahn

**Replying to @realyuurikatsuki: why are you trying to defend @yuri-plisetsky? Everyone knows he deserves to be locked up for what he did to you. You’re too nice.**

**1/22/22**

**14 Retweets            67 Likes**

 

_News item from People Magazine, January 26, 2022:_

**_OUTRAGE! YURI PLISETSKY ON THE ATTACK_ **

_With an already shady reputation, Russian figure skater Yuri Plisetsky didn’t help his image at all by raising a scene at a restaurant in Moscow. Accompanying him was his coach, Yakov Feltsman, was his choreographer, Lilia Baranovskaya. According to the restaurant owner, Dmitri Viktorovna, they were waiting on the arrival of potential sponsors when suddenly Plisetsky started screaming._

_According to an eyewitness, Natasha Sokolov, Plisetsky was throwing his drink at Feltsman and screaming “Go to hell!” at the top of his lungs, on top of other expletives. The exact source of his outburst remains unknown, but it is clear it started because of something Feltsman had said to the skater._

_“[Feltsman] probably hit him in his ego,” said Sokolov. “He’s been particularly nasty to his fans here recently, so he must have said something he didn’t like to hear and threw a temper tantrum.”_

_Plisetsky was last seen storming out of the restaurant, “taking a b-line straight to the train station,” according to another eyewitness, Ivan Drotsky. “He was on the phone yelling at someone, too, but he was speaking a language I don’t understand, so I can’t tell you what he said.” It is speculated he was speaking in Kazakh._

_Plisetsky could not be reached for comment._

Stretches, by this point, had become much easier for Yuuri. He had been doing simple skates on the ice by now and his jumps didn’t hurt. He had to work on his balance, sure, but it had been almost two whole months since he was last practicing, so he had a lot to catch up on in regards to his skate. He knew it would take a lot to get to the podium, but Viktor wasn’t going to push him to make the podium, so he wasn’t going to push himself further to worry his fiancé.

But, if Viktor wasn’t going to do it, someone else was. And that someone else came hammering on their door. Yuuri looked to Viktor, confused, wondering who it could be at this particular hour before the door just burst open.

Yuri stormed in, looking at Viktor for a moment to ask where Yuuri was before he noticed him in the middle of a stretch on the floor. He looked to him. “Get your skating bag. We’re going to the rink.”

“What?’ Yuuri asked.

“Did I fucking stutter, pig?”

“Hey now,” Viktor said in a stern voice, walking towards Yuri. “I don’t know what makes you think—”

“—Don’t fucking _test_ me, old man!” Yuri shouted, shoving him back with enough force to make him fumble backwards and fall onto his ass. He turned back to Yuuri, this time yelling louder. “Get your skating bag, _now!”_

There was a pause, before Yuuri slowly rose and walked to his room, coming back with his skating bag. He gave a reassuring look to Viktor, gesturing to his phone, then he put his coat and shoes on and walked out into the whirling snow.

Yuri wasn’t wearing a coat or anything of the sort, as if the fire from pure rage alone was heating him up. Before he walked to the car, Yuuri intervened. “Why don’t I drive, hmm?” He asked. “You’re angry. It’s not safe at all to drive when you’re angry. Let me do it.”

Yuri looked up for a moment, thinking, before tossing the keys to him over the car and then walking around to the passenger side.

The entire drive there was in uncomfortable silence. The faint humming from the car was just about the only noise they could hear, and Yuri didn’t peel his eyes away from the window. He didn’t want to look Yuuri in the eye.

When they arrived, the two of them laced up their skates without saying a word, and Yuuri finally spoke when they met again on the ice. “Why did you want me here so badly?” He asked, his words echoing off the walls since they were the only two there. He was almost scared of saying the wrong word or speaking in a less-than-gentle tone that may cause another emotional explosion.

“I’m going to turn you into a gold-medal champion,” Yuri said simply, still avoiding his gaze. “You’re going to take gold at the Olympics, I’ll make sure of it.”

Yuuri stared, trying to comprehend the words that just came out of the boy’s mouth. He took a deep breath and then shook his head. “I’m content with just skating. I don’t need to win—”

“—No, shut the fuck up,” Yuri snapped. He glared at the skater across from him and gestured to the ice. “You’re going to win gold. Now go to the centre. We’re redoing your program.”

“I like my program—”

“—Your program is garbage.” Yuri interrupted. “It wasn’t before now, but it is now. It doesn’t fit you after everything that just happened. If you want to capture the audience and win gold, we’re going to redo your program.”

Yuuri gave him a strange look, and that’s when he spoke back again. “But I don’t care about winning gold.”

“I said shut the fuck _up_!” Yuri shouted at him, making the other skater flinch. “I didn’t drop out of the Olympics for you to be content with anything less than the best, so shut the fuck up and work with me here. You’re going to fucking win gold.”

“You _what?”_

“You heard me. Now move it.”

 

**Yuri Plisetsky**

@yuri-plisetsky

**Rot in hell, ISU.**

**1/26/22**

**22.1K Retweets            75.4K Likes**

“Why the hell are you so tired all of a sudden? If anything, you’re _known_ for your stamina.”

Yuri studied the skater beneath him, watching him as he wheezed for breath on his knees and desperately tried to drink some water between breaths. Yuuri shook his head, trying to wave it off. “It’s just been a while.”

Yuri almost believed him, before he noticed what used to be a skin-tight shirt look like a regular t-shirt on him, and he didn’t even catch that before. He hoisted Yuuri up by his arm and instantly reached over to pinch his stomach, noticing there was a huge lack of anything there. That’s when they made eye contact; that’s when he knew.

“Alright, that’s it. We’re going out to eat.” Yuri said simply, his voice a little gentler now. A little more hurt.

“I’m not hungry,” Yuuri lied.

“Don’t bullshit me, Katsudon,” Yuri replied, taking off his skates once he was off the ice and putting his shoes on instead. “Leave your skates here, we’re coming back after you’re done eating.”

 

**CNN Breaking News**

@cnnbrk

**BREAKING – Yuri Plisetsky withdraws from the Olympics, according to a statement released on his twitter. cnn.it/plisetsky-drops-out**

**1/26/22**

**248 Retweets            389 Likes**

 

 **Anonymous** said:

HOLY SHIT JJ DID YOU SEE THAT WHY WOULD HE DO THAT

 **jjleroy15** answered:

               I DON’T KNOW – but honestly, I think he knows something that we don’t. My money is bet on it. Like, it’s more than a coincidence he has a huge public outburst and then withdraws within the same day. Either he knows something, or the ISU found out that he in fact order did the attack and kicked him out. Whatever it is, I hope everything is okay. A lot of us skaters have really been out of the loop about all this and I don’t want to jump to conclusions

 **2,050 notes**                  #i don’t know what to think #there’s gotta be a reason #anonymous

 

It had always been extremely easy for Yuuri to gain weight. Even after starving himself the weight piled back on top of him faster than normal, all thanks to Yuri’s “just two more bites” strategy. He’d eat the two bites, and Yuri would make up some excuse about why he should take “just two more bites,” over and over and over again until the next thing he knew he finished the plate.

Yuri was exceptionally gentle then. His voice carried a weight of sadness that he converted to anger when they were back in the rink. He wanted Yuuri to be in tip top shape once February came, because he’d be damned if he let him go back to the Olympics, only to get tired in the middle of the performance and settle for something like silver. He refused.

He wished they had more time. February was right on their tails and Yuuri had just broken the ice to be back to his original state before the attack. Then February came. They only had a couple of days to make some kind of improvement to Yuuri’s performance – and Viktor was amazed.

“That program is going to make him win gold, _Bratishka_ ,” Viktor had said to Yuri once, watching the movements for the new program. Yuri hadn’t heard that name from him in a long time – not since he ran away from his mother. Bratishka, very simply, meant “little brother.”

Yuri shook his head. “No, he won’t. He’s still listening to you, so he’s going to win silver at most.” With that insult, he left it alone, gliding onto the ice to criticise Yuuri about something regarding his choreography. Viktor couldn’t remember what it was. When he came back, Viktor looked him up and down, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked finally. “Why did you not only drop out, but also do everything in your power to try and make my Yuuri win? What do you have to gain from all of this?”

Yuri didn’t look at him, instead staring straight ahead, and avoiding the question altogether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this ending sucked. But that’s okay! I didn’t know how else to end it so I’m just making do until next chapter. Trust me, it’s going to be great! I’m so excited to get to it. You’re all going to be shook. Thank you again so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!  
> -Elena


	6. Mercenary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language, mentions of abuse  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: the Minecraft soundtrack, “The Chain” by Fleetwood Mac  
> I originally wanted to implement Yuuri’s blog a lot sooner in previous chapters, but they never fit in well in other chapters. It always felt out of place until now – so, therefore, the blog is happening now! I didn’t have author’s notes at the end of this one because of how this chapter ends (trust me, it’s a good one!), and so I’m just adding everything up here for this chapter. Also: shout out to Berkie for their theory being exactly right!! I was shook when I read the comment (Also to answer your question attached to the “rot in hell ISU” tweet was a picture of his statement of withdrawal. He thought the whole ISU was corrupt after the dinner with Yakov). If you have more questions about it, feel free to comment or PM me on Tumblr! My Tumblr is thebaehood. But anyways! Thank you guys once again for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> -Elena

_I am a dime-a-dozen skater that grew up a little too fast._

_Skaters start young – at least the professional, Olympic gold medallist ones do – and I was no exception. I was around four or five when my feet first hit the ice. By the time I was in my double digits I was already sharing the same anxiety levels as both of my parents put together – about three years later I started taking medication for it._

_Regardless of my situation, I still loved skating. Figure skating at its core is a sport in an art form, and more often than not it’s been a source of therapy for me as it is for many others within the profession. That is, until recently._

_I’m sure all of you know what I’m talking about. I’ve seen too much coverage about it literally everywhere, so if anything, I’d actually be surprised if you hadn’t heard my name floating around. If anything, I bet you have my name blacklisted because you’re probably sick of hearing it. I don’t blame you. I’m sick of it too._

_And I’m sure you’re also aware of the news that I will be in fact competing in the Olympics tomorrow, and as you would expect: I’m petrified. My anxiety levels are through the roof and I have no idea how my performance is going to be. But, I have some confidence, thanks to my unofficial new coach._

_Yes, Viktor didn’t coach me for the Olympics. He had been my coach at home regarding my recovery and mental health, but on the ice, he was unintentionally replaced by someone else: Yuri Plisetsky._

_Now I know what a lot of you are thinking: “What? Why would he do that? He planned the attack against you now he’s dropping out to coach you?” And to that, I have a few things to say._

_I have no idea what prompted him to train me, but when he started he was extremely passionate about making sure I win gold. Now if I had planned an attack on someone, I would use that to my advantage to make sure I won gold, just as anyone else would. So, the fact he withdrew out of the Olympics to coach me and choreograph my new program (yes, my program is different. It’s going to blow you all away), that tells me he’s completely innocent. If I wasn’t sure before, I most certainly am now._

_Yurio’s been helping me train to perform in ways I never thought I was capable. These past few days, I think I crammed almost a month’s practice on one jump alone; Yurio is convinced if I do this perfectly, I will make history and win gold by a longshot. Ever since his junior days this kid has had a spark within him that’s always lit up the best performance – and I think a little bit of that rubbed off on me. It’s a type of electricity that I have never felt coursing through my veins before, and it’s been one of the most intense and incredible feelings of determination I had ever felt in my life. It’s unreal._

_Yurio’s always been near and dear to me and Viktor – he’s like a little brother to us, and during a time when he lived with us he was almost like a son. Yeah, that’s a portion of his history that didn’t make the textbooks._

_Tanya Plisetsky, his mother, was a fucking lunatic. That’s the gentlest approach I could have handled that statement. She had him training ever since he was four and she was horrible to him on and off the ice. I only know what he told me, and Tanya wasn’t your stereotypical abusive mother. She took abuse to the next level._

_I remember a specific incident Yurio told me about – when he was about nine, Tanya had beat him with a hairbrush right before a competition, specifically to make him angry. She thought he skated best when he was angry._

_By the time he was twelve he was landing quad salchows, which are insanely difficult and dangerous at that age – and I remember he told me that she was never satisfied with those performances. She was always drinking and constantly putting him down. Viktor had met her a couple of times, and he’s told me she was foul to be around. I’ve never met her, because she stopped showing up to the rink after Yurio turned sixteen. I knew she wasn’t pleasant to strangers, so I can only imagine what she was like to her son._

_So, when he was almost seventeen, he left. He packed his bags and walked right out of her house and never turned back. He wanted to just stay with Viktor and I overnight until he got a chance to call Lilia, his choreographer, and ask to stay with her again. We knew that he didn’t necessarily like it there, and the three of us are close, so we offered him our guest bedroom, which is where he lived until he bought his own little place with Otabek when he was nineteen._

_So yes, we know Yurio quite well and we know that he cares about us just as much as we care about him. We know he wouldn’t plan an attack on us no matter what anyone thinks. And it breaks my heart to see him taking all this hatred from people when he doesn’t deserve it – and he’s still so strong to act like it never bothers him. But I can tell, it bothers him, I can see it in his eyes when he’s training me._

_Speaking of my training, if Yurio never competes again, I hope that he at least coaches for a few years. He’s going to make a lot of great skaters that way – and I hope that I’m as great as he sees._

_Anyways, I’m rambling. All I wanted to do was give a small introduction to my new blog, but I ended up monologuing. I guess it’s just unavoidable – I’m Japanese, after all. I grew up watching anime._

_That being said, no hate is tolerated here, and I hope that this was a good idea. Thank you for coming._ _さよなら_ _!_

_–Yuuri Katsuki_

**#justiceforyuuri**

@flowerpahn

**Look I don’t give a fuck what kind of pathetic life @yuri-plisetsky had. He’s still a piece of shit that did a shitty thing to someone better than him. It’s no excuse. **

**2/3/22**

**10 Retweets            37 Likes**

 

Everything about preparations was always a thousand times more stressful and earth-shattering than the actual competitions themselves. It’s the suspense – the anticipation – that holds skaters in mid-air. Especially, if it’s in preparation for one of the most important events of their lives.

To Yuuri, this was going to be the most important competition he’s ever faced in his skating career. This wasn’t like the last Olympics where it was just a big deal and he was still going to try again if he’d lose – this competition, very simply, was his last.

It was a long time coming. No matter how skilled a skater is, that doesn’t replace how age affects their body. Many get surgeries to keep themselves afloat longer or they take breaks during their career. Hell, Viktor’s had multiple surgeries on each knee until his time finally came to retire – no jump can attack the bones worse than age can. Yuuri was pushing it, and his broken leg came as nothing but a final sign that rang in his head.

_Yes. This is it._

Yuri knew. So did Viktor. But that was it. He hasn’t made his announcement about it to the public just yet because he was sure there would be some kind of unpredictable consequence. At least, Yuri was paranoid enough about it. “You don’t know what kind of people you’re dealing with,” he said darkly, a stamp of anger hidden but glowing behind his eyes.

Everything was changing. The times were evolving. The world was still turning, and it’s time that Yuuri started turning with it.

He remembered that as he remembered to save the quad for the second half.

 

_News item from Figure Skating Magazine, February 3, 2022:_

**_ICY RIVALRY STILL HAS HEAT ON THE ICE_ **

_With the Olympics kicking off tomorrow, all eyes are going to be drawn on Yuuri Katsuki, who recovered in time to make a return to the ice. The battle for gold between Katsuki and his chief rival Yuri Plisetsky was growing more and more intense by the minute until Plisetsky unexpectedly dropped out just about a week before the competitions for unknown reasons. It is known, however, that Plisetsky had trained Katsuki quite vigorously leading up to the events, so fans of the two skaters were confused about if there was even a rivalry at all. Some fans even had speculated Plisetsky to have been involved in the attack on Katsuki at the Grand Prix Final in Moscow, but after photos of the two training for the Olympics started circulating the internet, some started to change their opinions. Others still believe that Plisetsky couldn’t be trusted._

_However, everyone has their eyes on the ice for this Olympic game, wondering if Katsuki would take home the gold or if Octavio Baiul (representing the Ukraine) would defeat the recovered skater instead. Regardless of who wins, the tension is still intense and very clear, and Sledkom is still looking for the person that hired the assailant against Katsuki._

 

“Remember what I said,” Yuri said, helping the skater finalise everything with his costume, fumbling particularly with this one fucking _button—_

“‘Treat Octavio as if he were you. Don’t talk to anyone. You’re out there as a mystery,’” Yuuri responded, verbatim. So far, this strategy was working. After the short programs, Yuuri was right behind Octavio in silver. Many fans at this moment were on edge, and they speculated he was going to take home silver, maybe bronze if he flubs up a jump.

“And?” Yuri asked, looking up from the hem of the skater’s pants to make eye contact.

“Land the quad,” he replied.

Yuri took a deep breath, before nodding, looking past Yuuri for a moment. There was a thin sheet of worry keeping his anger warm, and he didn’t look back to his friend until finally Yuuri had to get his attention. Yuuri took a quick glance to see what his former rival was staring at, but he didn’t see anything except a small group of coaches together talking amongst each other. He saw Yakov there, too, and he went to go wave before his hand was quickly snatched back down. He turned, making eye contact with Yuri – ice meeting fire.

“Don’t talk to anyone. You’re a mystery.”

The tone in his voice wanted to add, but he didn’t. Yuuri heard his name over the speaker, and he looked back to the boy. “Thank you for everything,” he said simply.

“We’re not done yet,” Yuri said coldly, then turned him by his shoulders and gently shoved him towards the ice. “Take your thanks and swallow it.”

Yuuri was already pushed out to the public eye before he could say anything about it, and all of a sudden he was deafened by the roaring of the crowd around him. He inhaled deeply, before gliding onto the ice, not interacting with the audience in any way – he just stared ahead. He was on a mission. He was a mystery.

He took one glance back to Yuri, giving him a knowing look before he made it to the centre of the ice. Viktor wasn’t out there – he wasn’t allowed, since Yuri figured it would be an extra incentive to land the quad – but he could definitely see what was happening. He was watching from the inside.

There was that dreaded pause of silence, where pins and needles could gently pitter patter on carpet and it would echo throughout the rink, before the music finally started to play. It was something original, something newly composed – Yuri made Otabek put it together specifically for Yuuri. He said it was about overcoming the impossible. He said it was about revenge.

He started like he would, as normal – the simple, gentle gliding of his hand down his arm, his feet pushing him along the ice in a slow, pulsing anticipation – until finally, he jumped. He started on a triple Lutz. He let his body move and twist as he’d compete, his heart hammering at the fact that he was about to do a _quad—_

He attempted, but it turned into a triple. The judges didn’t know the staggering defeat since triples were listed on the sheets, but he wasn’t done yet. Yuuri could practically hear the sigh of disappointment from Yuri on the other end of the rink, but he wasn’t done yet. There was a small area of time between two other jumps – he could try it again there. Plus, it would be in the second half; it would be worth more points. This quad was just between he and Yuri. They were the only two that knew that he could do it.

_“I can’t fucking believe you,” Yuri had laughed in complete disbelief._

_Yuuri smiled. “Am I trying it in Beijing?”_

_“No, don’t try it,” he said. “You’re going to_ do _it.”_

Yuuri felt his heart racing. He was getting closer and closer to it with every inch turned and with every breath he’d take. He was battling himself in his head, two voices competing each other to say if he could or couldn’t do it. At this point, he didn’t know for sure. He just knew that he had to, even if he couldn’t.

Finally, the time came, and it seemed impossible. It seemed improbable. It seemed like every stack of physics and logic was pressed against him to make sure he wasn’t able to complete this jump, but he turned right back around to it and said a hearty “fuck you.”

He had to remember that he almost couldn’t be here. He almost was forced into early retirement and never had the chance for Olympic gold. He almost wasn’t able to walk properly again.

He remembered this, and it boiled.

He had to remember all those times where everybody told him that he couldn’t do something. All those little moments where he was teased or picked on by something he struggled to control. All those incidents that almost pushed him over the edge.

He remembered this, and it boiled.

He had to remember the taste of success, the way the icy sweetness trickled like honeysuckle but rested in his mouth like a lollipop. The way he was welcomed back to Japan after winning silver for the first time. The way that Viktor cried tears of joy.

He remembered this, and it boiled.

He glanced behind him, knowing full well that he had the space to complete it. He had the time. He had the skill. He just had to push off his leg and take a blind leap.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Four—_

People in Beijing could hear the crowds screaming from thousands of metres away. Yuuri didn’t even realise that he landed at first, but once it clicked in his head, he couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. He almost wanted to stop and just cry, but he didn’t – knowing he had a competition to win and a skate to finish. He could hear the announcers, screaming into the microphones and in the corner of his eyes he saw Yuri, beaming and bright and the happiest he’s ever been.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I can’t believe what I’ve just seen. Yuuri Katsuki has just wrote a little bit of history – he has become the first person _ever_ to land a quadruple axel!”

 

**ISU FIGURE SKATING**

@ISU_Figure

**After an earth-shattering new record and making history, Yuuri Katsuki (JP) wins gold at the 2022 Olympic Winter Games!**

**2/7/22**

**4K Retweets            10K Likes**

 

The banquet was almost unreal. Yuuri had never been so swarmed with attention since the initial attack – and he couldn’t even get started on how completely elated Viktor was about the whole thing. Viktor had swarmed his fiancé with thousands, if not millions, of praises and kisses after he got off the ice.

It had gotten to the point to where he almost couldn’t even go to the ballroom to eat because of how the press was right on his tail. Of course, they were all escorted away so the skaters could have their moments together in the ballroom, but even then the skaters were all completely thrilled. Of course, his best friend had to take thousands of selfies with him, and he said “thank you” in response to so many compliments that the phrase didn’t sound real anymore.

Finally, there was a small moment where Yuuri was sat at his table and eating the food they had offered, Viktor by his side and completely doting over him. After a moment, they made eye contact and Viktor asked the question: “How long have you been able to do that?”

Yuuri shrugged. “Since Yurio taught me how to,” he said, turning back to his food.

Viktor made a face, trying to process what he was just told before repeating it. “Wait, Yurio taught you?” When Yuuri nodded in response, he thought it over again. He looked around – come to think of it where _was_ he? – until finally he saw the boy sitting on a chair outside on the balcony, just looking ahead. “I’ll be right back,” he told his fiancé simply, getting up and then walking over to the sliding glass door. He opened it, and then quietly stepped out onto the balcony.

There was a moment of silence, where only the soft winter wind could be heard. The snow almost had music here. “Are you going to say anything, Vitya, or are you just going to stand there being all creepy?” Yuri asked finally.

“Yuuri told me you taught him the quad.”

Yuri grinned. “He told you right.”

Viktor thought for a moment, before walking over and crouching next to him to where they were practically the same height. “Why? I mean, it was wonderful and all, but if you were truly the first one, then how come you haven’t done anything about it?”

“Yakov wanted me to save it for the Olympics,” Yuri explained, not turning his head, still staring at the roads in the distance. “But then I quit. So I figured, I might as well pass on my strengths.”

Viktor remembered that he withdrew, and he remembered how he always avoided talking about why he was so adamant about making sure Yuuri won gold. “You never told me why you quit.”

“Jesus, you’re as dumb as a fucking rock,” Yuri groaned slightly, sitting up so he wasn’t slouching anymore, but he still not turning to look at him. “I wanted to look Yuuri’s attackers in the eye as he won gold. I wanted them to see that even after everything they had done, they still lost.”

That raised more questions in Viktor’s head than it answered, and he gave Yuri a look. The cold was starting to bite him now, and he wondered how the boy could stay out here and not be bothered. Maybe he truly was getting old. “What are you talking about? You know…you know who ordered the attack?”

Yuri made a face, turning his head slightly in Viktor’s direction but still not giving him his eyes. “You don’t?”

“Yuri, literally nobody knows.”

There was a pause, a beat, where the air whispered something to each of the former skaters, the snow resting on the railing. “Vitya,” Yuri said, finally looking him in the eyes. “You’re one of the smartest people I have ever known in my entire life, and you mean to tell me that you still haven’t figured out that it was Yakov?”


	7. Uprising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language, a spurt of violence, lots of jumping around through time  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: The Devilman Crybaby soundtrack and ASMR  
> For those of you that haven’t read String Theory (check it out, it’s on my works page!) and don’t know what zhanym means: it’s Kazakh for “my soul.” Anata, however, is an older Japanese word meaning “darling,” and it’s often said to husbands by wives. If you wanna send fic ideas or little drabble prompts, I can write something special for you! Go ahead and send me any and all if you’d like, because my next challenge to myself is to tackle multiple fics at once (a chaptered and drabbles or two chaptered ones) and just put out more content. So, if you want to do that, you may do so at my Tumblr! My Tumblr is thebaehood. But anyways! Thank you guys once again for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> -Elena

Dinner with sponsors was always exhausting. Even though Yuri had this routine of pretend down to the core, he still hated having to act all prim and proper like he was auditioning to be the heir in a marriage or some fucking Shakespearian shit like that.

The waiting was the worst part.

The waiting – which tended to range between ten minutes to an hour – always meant that by the time the sponsors arrived, they were starving; Yuri would always have to hold back every ounce of his being to keep his table manners and not just gorge the whole plate. Thankfully, this time, Yakov was decent enough to order appetizers instead of making him wait like a heathen.

It was a simple serving of dinner rolls and pickled mushrooms, enough to make sure that the skater wouldn’t keel over and instead stay on his best behaviour for the sponsors when they’d arrive. Yuri leaned back, scrolling through the news on his phone when he received a notification that he was tagged on Twitter. He pulled it up and saw Yuuri’s friendly tweet about sharing the ice, and he liked it.

“What’re you smiling at?” Yakov asked.

Yuri shook his head. “Nothing funny. Just a sweet message from Yuuri saying that he was excited to practice with me again.”

Yakov frowned, a permanent fixture on his face at this point. “I don’t even know why he’s competing.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Yuri gave him an odd look, and he noticed the man’s expression changed.

“I mean, there’s no point,” he said simply in response. He mumbled to himself, thinking he was quiet but in actuality he was loud enough for his skater to hear. “Plus there was no point in hiring Vanya to break his legs if he was going to get up and skate again anyway—”

“—I’m sorry, _what?”_

There was a moment, where the two made eye contact, silence between them ringing in the air, and Yuri’s voice turned deathly cold. “ _You_ did this?”

“Well, it wasn’t entirely my idea. Lilia originally wanted to use his anxiety to our advantage and send in a death threat against him to scare him off the ice, but I thought breaking the legs would work more efficiently.” Yakov rolled his eyes. “Well, clearly I was wrong about that.”

“You _did_ this!” Yuri shouted, pushing his chair back and rising to a stand, now drawing attention from others around them in the restaurant. His face was heating – fuming – his heart was hammering against the cloth on his chest and he felt like he was going to explode any minute.

“Yurochka, sit _down,_ you’re making a scene—”

“—oh, you’re worried about a fucking _scene_ Yakov?” Yuri yelled. “A _scene?”_

His coach didn’t even realise the irony of the skater’s statement.

“I’ll show you a fucking scene,” Yuri growled. “I’ll fucking make you pay!” And with that, Yuri picked up his drink and threw it at Yakov, the liquid and shattering glass spilling everywhere as he heard the people around him gasp or yelp in shock and fear. He didn’t stop there. He tipped the table enough to where the food and other glassware crashed all over his coach that was yelling at him to stop; and when he finished he pushed the table towards him, hoping that there was an off chance that Yakov was made of glass, too – in the off chance that it would crush him.

He wanted to hit him. He wanted to hit him so bad.

“Go to _hell!”_ Yuri shouted finally, before storming out of the restaurant and heading straight to the nearest train station. He pulled out his phone, knowing onlookers were going to eavesdrop, and he called his boyfriend to speak the only other language that he was sure that Russians didn’t normally speak.

“Yura?” Otabek spoke in Russian when he picked up the phone. “Aren’t you supposed to be at dinner?”

“Write a statement. I’m dropping out of the Olympics,” Yuri demanded, in Kazakh. He was so angry he saw red specks out of the corner of his eyes, and he had to make sure that he wasn’t going to pop a blood vessel – he needed cold. He needed to prove them wrong. He need to make sure Yuuri got the vengeance that he deserved.

“Whoa, whoa, Yuri, slow down,” Otabek struggled to think straight. He didn’t even realise they had switched to Kazakh. “What is going _on?_ Take a deep breath, _zhanym,_ talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I’ll explain when I get there, but write the statement. I’m not changing my mind.” With that, he hung up, rushing to the train that was about to depart and getting on to head back to St. Petersburg. He took a deep breath when he sat down, noticing nobody else on the car with him, and he thanked every God out there for that fact alone. There came a moment during the train ride where everything sank in – where everything he had just learned and had just done was now irreversible – where he realised that nothing was ever going to be the same.

He remembered this, and then he started to sob.

* * *

 

This was a common occurrence.

Viktor’s hands were shaking, his phone screen wet as it lit up, a beacon of contrast against the darkness swallowing his room. It was his coach, again. He was an hour late to practice.

He let it ring to voicemail, not opening the text of “VIKTOR WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!” following immediately afterwards. The calls came again, but finally this time the skater finally wiped the screen down with his sleeve in order to answer. The rain outside his empty apartment wasn’t quiet, but it still didn’t pick up on the phone.

“Hello?” He asked, his voice cracking though shaking sobs.

The anger behind Yakov’s tone instantly disintegrated, and there was a small pause of stunned silence before he finally responded, his voice gentle and full of meaning. “Vitya,” he said softly, speaking to the twenty-six year old as if he were a wounded child. “What’s going on?”

“I—” he stopped, there was a sniffing wheeze, a catch of breath, and then he continued. “I don’t think I can make it to practice today. I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Yakov paused again, taking this moment to carefully choose his words while he listened to the skater cry on the other end. “Look, Vitya, I know how it feels to be lonely, and I know that you feel lost and alone.”

“—It’s not just that, Yakov—”

“—Let me finish. I know that you feel that you don’t have a purpose skating anymore, but let me tell you—”

“—I already won four times. What the hell is a fifth going to do to fix that?—”

“— _Let me finish,”_ Yakov snapped, finally, but then took a deep breath before readjusting himself. “You never know. You could meet someone at the Grand Prix this year and not feel lonely anymore. You could get the opportunity to find a passion you never knew you had. But above all else, this could go away and you could make yourself happy.”

Viktor didn’t respond. Yakov wasn’t even sure if he was listening to him, but still he wanted to try and persuade him to not give up on his skating anyway. “Nothing happens by giving up, Vitya. Things happen by making them happen. We may not know when it’s going to be or how long it’s going to take or who or what exactly it may be, but please, please remember nothing you do goes to waste.”

“Can you promise me that?” He sobbed.

Yakov nodded, even though he knew Viktor on the other end wouldn’t be able to see. “Of course I do. As long as you’re my student I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you happy.”

* * *

 

The sunbeams were warm. Despite the winter whirling outside, what light managed to peek through the curtains on the window heated Viktor’s skin like it was summer. It was the first thing he felt when his dreaming slowed to an end, but he didn’t open his eyes. He kept them closed until he felt the pressure on the bed shift around, soft groaning between slow movements.

Viktor rolled over, opening his eyes and watching his fiancé try to force himself back to sleep. Waking up always hurt – a broken leg wasn’t necessarily easy to heal.

“Yuuri,” Viktor spoke softly, a gentle hand reaching over to caress his cheek. Yuuri sighed in response before finally giving in to opening his eyes and looking at him.

“Hey, Vitya,” he said quietly.

Viktor felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth, and he pushed himself up to scoot over closer to him in the bed, wrapping his arms around the body and gently kissing his forehead. “Good morning,” he cooed. Yuuri nuzzled his face against Viktor’s chest, only humming in response. Viktor chuckled, pulling him a little closer and brushing his hair away from his eyes with his fingertips. They stayed there for a while, the only sounds they could hear was of their own breathing and each other’s’ heartbeats. Finally, Viktor spoke. “You know, we have to get up soon.”

Yuuri groaned slightly, rubbing his nose against the middle of his fiancé’s chest. “You know, we don’t have to,” he whined quietly. When Viktor opened his mouth to speak, Yuuri leaned up to close it again with a tender kiss, taking his time to feel the softness of his lips. When they parted, his head rested again, looking at Viktor lovingly in the eyes.

There was a pause again, where the two of them just shared their looks and their embrace, when finally, Viktor smiled, giving in. “Yeah, you’re right. We don’t have to.”

* * *

 

_“It hurts. It hurts so bad, I’m so scared.”_

* * *

 

The rest of the banquet was a complete blur.

Viktor couldn’t understand the feeling in his chest – then again he had never felt betrayal before.

Of course, Yuuri didn’t know. Viktor made sure to keep a warm smile on his face and not give any hints that something was eating him alive. At first, he wondered why he wasn’t told this sooner, why Yuuri still didn’t even know – but then he realised that this information would definitely in fact affect his performance. He wouldn’t even think about attempting a quad, much less land it.

How could he? How _dare_ he?

Viktor felt like he was wandering – like everyone at the banquet now were nothing but complete strangers, like everything around him was starting to sink. Yuuri. Where was his Yuuri?

Viktor’s eyes dart around in a brief frantic fit of panic, until he saw him. There was a moment of relief, until he saw what he was _doing._ Yuuri was – Jesus fucking Christ – he was talking to Yakov. Not just talking, either. Oh no, he was _laughing._ There were smiles and kind words and a sudden pulse of anger that Viktor hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

And Yuuri – poor Yuuri – he had _no idea._

Viktor took a deep breath, balling his hands into fists before unclenching them finally, keeping his movements towards the two as calm as he could; despite every ounce of his being telling him to reach over and knock his former coach to the ground and continue to beat on his face, he restrained himself. Viktor Nikiforov had impeccable patience.

“Ah, Vitya,” Yakov welcomed warmly, smiling at him. It felt like he was taunting. “I was just talking to Yuuri about his performance. It was wonderful, wasn’t it?”

“Don’t call me Vitya,” he snapped. The reaction was almost instant, and to quickly cover himself Viktor kept talking and turned it into something doting. “The only one allowed to anymore is my fiancé, so it’s a special nickname just for the love of my life.” He leaned down and gently kissed the top of his confused fiancé’s head to make a point.

“Whatever,” Yakov brushed it off to his former student being dramatic, as usual. “I just think that he should be very proud of how he skated today.”

“Yeah, he should be,” Viktor’s voice dropped. His tone turned into something deadly, and if looks could kill Yakov would have been struck down by God himself less than five minutes ago. “It was a long road to recovery, but he made it. Thank god he did, so that way the man that hurt him could watch him succeed anyway.”

That did it.

Yakov’s eyes looked up and made contact with Viktor’s. There was a solid moment where the two of them just stared each other down, glares exchanged until it finally clicked for the coach. He _knows._

“Vitya, what’s going on?” Yuuri asked, looking up at him from his seat. “You’re acting odd. Is something wrong?”

Viktor finally took his glare away from his former coach before looking down to his husband-to-be, quickly softening his gaze to a lighter look. “Sorry, _anata_ ,” he mumbled softly to him with a gentle pat of his hand. He couldn’t remember the word he should have used, but he hoped that it was sufficient. He had other things on his mind.

“Why don’t we talk in private?” Yakov suggested, suddenly his voice cold.

“Why not say it here?” Viktor snapped, looking back up at him and stepping around Yuuri to where he was in between the two of them, as if it would protect him from any other incoming attack.

“There’s nothing to say.”

“Oh _bullshit—”_

“—Vitya, please, you’re making a scene—”

“—Yes, Viktor. You should listen to Yuuri,” Yakov taunted. That was definitely taunting this time. “Don’t make a scene.”

Viktor felt himself step forward, noticing Yakov step back as he did. “A _scene,_ Yakov? Are you fucking kidding me? _You’re_ worried about a _scene?”_

This time, the coach realised the irony of his statement.

Viktor turned, feeling eyes on him and noticing Yuri propped against the balcony door, watching it all unfold.

“Why did you do it? Hmm? How could you do it?”

Yakov rolled his eyes.

“Answer me, for Christ’s sake!” Viktor shouted. Now he really was attracting attention. He could hear his fiancé calling for him and hissing something, but he couldn’t make it out. All of his energy was used to make sure he didn’t knock the man in front of him to the ground. “Why did you do it?”

“Because I was willing to do whatever it took.”

This was it. His blood was about to overboil. “So you decided to—?"

“—Because I turn my students into champions. Yours is always just second-rate.”

Oh, there it is.

Viktor didn’t even feel his fist draw back, but he did feel himself instantly yanked backwards by his fiancé. “Vitya! Viktor!” He shouted, gripping tightly onto his arm and then stepping in front of him. “Whatever is going on there is _definitely_ a way to _calmly_ work this out—”

“—No, don’t even try, Yuuri,” Viktor interrupted. He looked at his fiancé seriously, a look that wasn’t the most common from him when looking at the love of his life. “You don’t even know what he did.”

“Vitya, I don’t need to know. All that you need to know is that this can be solved—”

“—No, it _can’t._ You _do_ need to know. Don’t you see it?” The whole room was watching. “He—” without breaking eye contact, he pointed his finger towards Yakov, “—was the one that _ordered your attack!”_

In that exact moment, snapshots were taken, voices were raised, and the whole room descended into chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to add more, but I decided to save all the aftermath of the whole world finding out and such to the next chapter. Just a couple more left, you guys! Also, I’m very sorry about the long wait for this chapter in particular. The last scene was extremely difficult to write and still try to keep it in character. Not to mention my creative ambitions were elsewhere and it was hard to get inspired for this fic for a little while. But thanks to my dear friend Heather, she gave me a good idea on how to approach this chapter! I hope you understand! But anyways, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
> -Elena


	8. The Road of Trials

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: The song “Ordinary World,” ASMR  
> Okay I’m not good at court scenes forgive me. Also, please forgive me if this chapter feels awfully short. My inspiration on this story is dying so I’m trying to hurry up and write it so it isn’t abandoned. Don’t worry! Chapter Nine won’t be lazy. Once again, my Tumblr is thebaehood. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you enjoy it!  
> -Elena

_Needless to say, yes, it did come as a bit of a shock._

_I never would have imagined Yakov planning something like that against me, and it still hurts a little to think about it. I always thought he was like extended family to me, and he treated me as kindly as he would treat one of his own. So when I found out that he was the reason behind my broken leg, I actually didn’t believe Viktor’s words when I heard them. I even tried to argue with him until Yurio calmly took my arm and intervened._

_“He’s not lying,” he said._

_I’m in a surreal place right now. I never thought something like this would be happening, but lo and behold it’s happening, and the next thing I know Viktor’s taking Yakov to court. I’m still kind of in a daze about it._

_I’m pretty sure that’s what betrayal feels like._

_It’s just, Yakov was never the type, you know? Despite what evidence and everyone I know is telling me, I still feel like something is wrong. And if he truly was the person that planned it, that I must have done something to make him want to take me down. I know it’s all irrational and not true at all and that he had no real reason for the attack against me, but I still can’t help but think that._

_The court date is in a couple days, and I find myself having a harder time falling asleep each night leading up to that. I know that nothing will affect me in any way when I attend, but at the same time I can’t help but feel completely petrified about it. I’ll just be sitting in the crowd, not even Viktor will be able to speak, but I still feel like this is all my fault. I know it’s not, but as I said, I can’t help but feel that way._

_I guess it’s just anxiety again._

_Anyways, I’m going to log off for now. I’ll be back with updates soon!_

_—Yuuri_

**#justiceforyuuri**

@flowerpahn

**Okay so @yuri-plisetsky may not have planned the attack but if you think he still wasn’t involved in some way you’re a fucking dumbass.**

**2/26/22**

**24 Retweets                44 Likes**

"All rise."

There had never been so much noise in silence. It was hidden within the rustling of clothes, the sharp inhale and holding of breaths, and the muffled footsteps on carpet.

"Department One of the court is now in session. Judge Anthony presiding. Please be seated."

It was that same quiet noise as before. White noise. The kind of noise a baby would hear in the womb. The kind of noise that puts people to sleep at night. White noise was a familiar to those that frequented this room, but to everyone else, it was unsettling.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Calling the case of the ISU versus Yakov Feltsmen. Are both sides ready?"

"Ready for the ISU, Your Honour."

"Ready for the defence, Your Honour."

It felt that the entire world was on one side of the court. Nobody even thought of the possibility of Yakov being innocent in this situation. It was as if they all knew the answer before the question was even asked.

"You may be seated."

They were all out sync and they were shaken. It was a case the world never wanted to see.

 

**Anonymous** said:

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

**fortheloveofallthingsyuuri** answered:

                THAT’S A PRETTY GOOD FUCKING QUESTION

**63 notes** #I feel really bad because I thought Yuri was guilty  #but I was wrong I was so horribly wrong  #I’m sorry Yura please forgive me

 

“Mr. Feltsmen, could you explain your involvement with the attack on Yuuri Katsuki?”

“I guess it’s out that I’m the mastermind behind it.” He was leaned back in the stand, folding his arms over each other and peeking around to see exactly every face that was glaring at him. He didn’t even try to deny it. He wouldn’t stand a fucking chance.

“Why did you decide to do it?”

“Because I wanted to prevent him from winning gold, so that way Yuri Plisetsky would win instead.”

“Did you not have faith in your student, then, Mr. Feltsmen?”

“It’s not that. It’s just for the past several seasons Yuri and Katsuki’s scores have been awfully close, and I didn’t want to risk the off-chance of something going wrong and Yuri not taking the gold.”

Him not wanting to ‘risk the off-chance of something going wrong’ was his nice way of saying that he had zero faith in Yuri landing the quadruple axel in competition. Because if nothing had happened, and if they had competed normally, the quad axel would have landed him gold instantly. Yuuri wouldn’t have stood a chance and Yuri would have been the one to go down in history with this kind of fame.

“What could have gone wrong, Mr. Feltsmen?”

“A lot of things. I mean, Otabek Altin injured his ankle earlier in the season and it forced him into early retirement. Nobody could have seen something like that coming.” He said it as if a normal skating injury was the same thing as being beaten with a police baton.

“You were actually fairly close with Yuuri Katsuki, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Then why would you formulate an attack against him?”

“Well, it wasn’t just me.” There came murmurs, and quickly with a swift smack of a hammer the room fell to silence again. “Lilia, my ex-wife, was involved as well. She wanted to kill him—”

“—Objection, Your Honour,” Yuri stood from the crowd, speaking over rising voices. “He’s full of it. She wanted to threaten him so it would scare him, she didn’t want him dead.”

“Mr. Plisetsky, how long have you known that Yakov Feltsmen was involved in this?”

Yuri thought for a moment. “A couple weeks. I didn’t say anything to Yuuri just yet because I knew it would have affected his performance at the Olympics. I was going to wait to tell him until after he had won.”

“Sit down, Yurochka.” Yakov groaned.

“Don’t tell me what to do, you old fuck.”

They exchanged glares, until finally he was requested to sit back down, so he did, making a point to grin at Yakov, as if to say he would listen to anybody else that was not him.

“You didn’t answer the question, Mr. Feltsmen.”

“What question?”

“Why would you plan an attack on Yuuri Katsuki?”

Yakov just shrugged. “I did what I had to do.”

 

**Yuri Plisetsky**

@yuri-plisetsky

**Oh, and for clarification, he’s just as much of a fucking asshole irl as he is in the courtroom rn**

**3/3/22**

**24 Retweets                44 Likes**

"Will the jury foreperson please stand? Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?"

"Yes, Your Honour."

There rang a heavy, heavy silence.

"The jury finds Mr. Feltsmen guilty."


	9. Civilians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Language, one (1) mention of sex  
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: My Civilian Playlist! Listen at https://open.spotify.com/user/twijill/playlist/6QFz2xt1yguzvtlfOTosFg?si=32_e9Tn7SweSIGCNz6Jrxw  
> I just wanted to say that I am so sorry about all the delays when it came to uploading these chapters. I am stupidly busy because I am a reporter for my university’s newspaper and Lily, my beta, is getting everything ready for college since she leaves for it this year. It’s hectic, but thank you for sticking with is! Anyway, this is the last chapter. I’m not going to get all emotional up here because I’m saving that for the end notes. But I just want to say all of you have been wonderful and I couldn’t ask for better readers. Once again, my Tumblr is thebaehood. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you enjoy it!  
> -Elena

_Viktor always wanted our wedding to be in the spring. He loved visiting Hasetsu when the cherry blossoms would start to burst from the trees and nature would start to claim her mark on the Earth._

_And here it is – April – and we’re in Hasetsu._

_A lot of you probably saw this coming, and I can guarantee none of you are more excited than Phichit, but now that it’s here, it feels off. It’s not because of Viktor or me or anything like that, it’s everything that lead up to this. It feels like the season finale of a long running show, the final scene in a video game after defeating a boss – the dawn of a new day. After everything that happened, after everything that’s been done, I feel like I’m a new person walking down the aisle._

_I guess, I would be a new person, after all. I’m getting married, for goodness sake. I’m literally changing my name and becoming a husband. I might just be feeling what everybody feels right before marriage, but I can’t help but think that after all that just happened recently that there’s something symbolic about this. Perhaps both are right._

_I just can’t help but wonder what would have happened if that video was never uploaded._

“You ready?”

Viktor turned from the mirror, blue eyes meeting green, and he took a deep breath with a half-smile. Yuri would always complain whenever he had to wear a suit, but this time he stayed quiet. He even did his hair for this, without a single word.

“I’ve been waiting for this day my whole life. Why wouldn’t I be?” Viktor asked, practically swooning at the thought.

Yuri rolled his eyes playfully and chuckled. “Well, quit dragging your ass. You don’t want to be late for your own celebration.”

“If the reporters call me by Mr. Nikiforov, I’m ignoring them until they call me by my real, _full_ name,” he emphasised.

“That’s nice, Vitya. Come on.”

 

_Honestly, if you come to think of it that way, there’s a lot of things that had to have happened in order for me to get here. What if the television was on a different channel while I was getting my skates on? What if my parents didn’t take me skating?_

_Life is such a serendipitous thing that it’s practically impossible to have two versions of your life that are exactly the same. It’s just crazy to think about._

Not a lot of people were there, and that was okay. That was exactly how they wanted it. That was exactly how they liked it. Their closest friends and family, sat together outside by a pretty little ocean in Hasetsu, the trees a vivid shade of pink.

The raining petals were a nice touch.

It seemed that Viktor wasn’t the only one that had waited his whole life for this day.

 

_You know, I don’t often think about what it feels like to be in love. I had been in love with Viktor for so long, it just felt like a normal part of my life even before I met him. He had always been my greatest joy, my greatest love, and on the worst of occasions my greatest sorrow._

_Sometimes I can’t even remember a time when I wasn’t in love with Viktor Nikiforov. I don’t want to._

_However, the sad thing is, we were so caught up with my skating that we kept putting the wedding off. In a way, I guess I gotta thank Yakov for breaking my leg. It finally pushed me and Viktor to get married. Granted it landed him and Lilia two years in jail, but it got me and Viktor to finally be each other’s’ husbands._

_But, I think the person that suffered the most from this is Yurio – he’s been blamed for the incident since the start, and even though he was innocent, he was still stripped of his championship titles and forced to resign from the ISU. He won’t ever be allowed to skate in a competition again, and it wasn’t his fault, but he paid the ultimate price._

_And yet, he didn’t let it bother him. At least, he wasn’t showing it; he’s become a lot harder to read after he went to go live with Otabek. He had been talking about retiring after the Olympics this season, so he considers being forced to resign a final nail in the coffin on that decision. He’s been debating on boxing, but I think he’s leaning more towards settling on becoming a coach or a ballet instructor. I expected him to be angry, but surprisingly, he’s just been so calm. It’s like he’s too tired to be angry anymore._

_People really just blow me away sometimes, and not always for good._

The vows were sealed with a kiss.

The dancing and the celebrating was held in a little local ballroom that seemed to last for hours. Afterwards at the ceremony, the newlyweds couldn’t keep themselves apart – they were by each other’s side even if they were doing something as simple as getting a drink.

Of course, Yuuri had some champagne.

He knew to restrict himself – he wanted to remember his wedding, after all – but that didn’t stop Yuri from taking the chance to make jokes.

“You ordered a pole for later, right?” He smirked, nudging Yuuri’s shoulder as he poured the champagne for the both of them. Yuri was legal, after all. “I mean, sixteen more of these bad boys and you’ll be needing one.”

“Oh shut up,” Yuuri laughed. “You liked it.”

“It was nasty.” Yuri’s smirk grew to be more genuine. The smile never faltered.

“You had fun.”

“I have fun during sex but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t nasty,” he laughed. Yuuri made a face at him, scrunching his nose and looking suddenly awkward. Yuri groaned, leaning back in his seat and rolling his eyes. “Oh, come _on_. I’m an adult in a committed relationship. Let me live.”

Yuuri just chuckled and shook his head. “I have to remind myself that. I still look at you and think you’re fifteen sometimes.”

“It happens.” There was an edge to Yuri’s tone then, and it felt like a reminder to himself more than a general reply.

They paused, before Yuuri turned back to face the boy next to him and softened his face. “Are you sure you’re taking this alright?”

Yuri just took a deep breath and shrugged. “I don’t know. This whole fiasco was just exhausting. I’m glad it’s over, but there’s still a lot to process. I’m sure you’re still trying to put it all together yourself.”

Yuuri just nodded; a part of him was still left behind in Moscow during the initial attack. He could still feel the stinging in his knees. He could still hear himself screaming. “Please, don’t forget that Viktor and I are always here for you if you ever need it.”

Yuri just nodded. “You too.”

 

_I know that this news will be very upsetting, especially after I just won gold at the Olympics, but after a long time of thinking and a hard decision with a heavy heart: I’m retiring. After I get married I want to settle down – I want to have kids, I want to live in a nice little house with my family, I want to be able to relax and live my life with my husband after ending my career with a happy ending._

_Besides, I’m sure that even though I won’t be figure skating, this will not be my last time on the ice. Even if I only ever put skates on again for fun, then it’s for fun. I know that my true friends and family are going to support what comes next regardless, and that’s all that matters to me. I’m happy to say that I can close this chapter of my life without any regrets._

_It’s truly been a wonderful and life-changing last few seasons with all of you and I couldn’t do it without your endless love and support, even through tough times. So really, thank you so much for bringing me here and I can’t wait to see what the next chapter of my life will bring._

_See you next level,_

_—Yuuri_

****

By the time the ceremony was over, it was approaching three a.m.; and by the time they would get home, it would be sunrise.

The initial celebration left the couple wide awake, and even after everyone was finally gone exhaustion refused to kick in. They had some time.

“You know what I always was taught to do as a child?” Viktor asked, his eyes staring at the ocean in front of them. They had found themselves on the beach in Hasetsu, and despite their clothes, they sat in the sand. One hand was gentle on top of the other.

Yuuri hummed with rising intonation, looking off at the water like his husband was. The world was a liminal space at this point in time, and the way the moonlight reflected on the black water only seemed to add to that mood.

“My father, he would always tell me to look at the moon when I was upset. He’d say that on the other side of the moon was my soulmate, looking at it at the same time as me.” He smiled softly, almost sadly. Yuuri felt a small pang in his heart – those were people that he never got to meet. Viktor’s parents died years ago right before the pair met. “I never knew why, but it would always calm me down, and it was like I suddenly knew what to do after that. And do you know what I’d hear, Yuuri? When I’d look at the moon, do you know what I’d hear?”

They looked at each other, and it was when everything clicked.

“I’d hear your voice.”

Yuuri felt his face flush as he smiled, and with a swift movement he leaned in, wrapping his arms around his husband and holding him tightly, closing his eyes as he did. “Sometimes, when I was alone at night, I would hold a pillow and look at the stars. And you know what, Vitya?” he whispered.

“What?” He whispered right back.

“I felt your arms around me.”

Yuuri didn’t see, but Viktor’s smile could be felt throughout his whole body. Their eyes remained fixed on the water, the calm waves providing the music they needed to hear at that moment.

Yuuri was the one to pull away, his hands gliding from Viktor’s back to his face, gently resting his palms on each cheek with his fingers gliding softly across the skin. Their eyes met, and after a moment, their lips did too.

“Even then, you met me where I am,” Yuuri chuckled softly, before placing a soft peck on his mouth again. Viktor’s hands rested gently wrapped around Yuuri’s wrists, letting them dangle off of there just to have another form of contact. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“I don’t know who I’d be,” Viktor responded. They saved each other, but in completely different ways. It was cosmic. “I love you.”

Yuuri felt tears prick at his eyes, and he closed his eyes to prevent them from falling. He leaned in and kissed his husband again. “I love you most.”

The music of the ocean continued to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JESUS CHRIST I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD FINISH. I mean that in the best way possible, since my inspiration died literally last chapter and I had to force this one out of my cold, dead hands. I’m so sorry that it took so long! I was trying my best not to make it suck. I didn’t know how to end it, really, but I’m happy with how I ended it (unless Lily wants me to change it then it’s getting changed y’all). But anyways, if you’ve read String Theory you know what’s coming: a sappy end note! Plus…a little surprise. First of all, I want to say a warm and forever grateful thank you to my best friend, Lily, for being my beta for this fic. Her reactions and edits have helped me tons, and I’m so thankful she would take time out of her busy days to look at this garbage for me. She doesn’t have an ao3 yet, but when she does I’ll be sure to do a collab fic with her! She’s a great writer. Second, a huge thank you goes to all of you for your endless love and support for this entire fic. From start to end, I loved watching your reactions, your theories, and any general comment that showed up in my emails. Thank you for your little words of encouragement and praise, thank you for your questions and kudoses (kudosi? Kudos? What’s the plural of kudos?) on my story. I’m so glad that this little idea that I had back in late December was finished in a relatively good amount of time and that I got to share this idea with the world: but I think most of all I’m so glad that you’ve enjoyed it. While I wasn’t as attached to Civilian as I was to String Theory, this still was a wild ride and I loved every minute of it anyways. If you made it this far: congratulations!! You actually care about what I have to say, and that makes me feel special. So, as promised, here’s a little surprise, which, if you’ve followed my stories you might enjoy (I at least hope you do): I’m working on a sequel to String Theory. I don’t have a beta for it yet, since Abby was unfortunately unavailable for it and I don’t want to bother Lily (I mean unless if she’s chill with it then it’ll probably be her), but I just finished outlining it and I plan to start writing it very soon! On top of that, I’m working on developing a Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction. If you’ve read Dead Aim Alchemist: a) I’m sorry you had to read that garbage but thank you for supporting me even then, and b) I’m toying with the idea of completely redoing it, like with the same general basics but with a different main character and some changes and better writing. I’m still waiting on feedback from my tumblr, but once I get an overall response on what they think of that it’ll determine if I do that. If not, then I’ll just write a little fic idea that I had in mind for FMA – the aftermath of the Promised Day. I know, overused as hell and basic, but there’s a lot of points I have that I haven’t seen in other fics that I want to put into words so that’s what it’ll be. So there’s that little sneak peek of projects to come! I have more up my sleeve, but I’m going to wait to reveal that until it’s developed entirely. So anyways, I’ve dragged you guys along long enough, and so now I’m going to get started on my next fics. Thank you so, so, much for all your love and support throughout Civilian, and I hope to see you again in other works of mine. I love you all, and I can’t wait to get started.  
> This has been Civilian. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.  
> Much love,  
> Elena


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